Hooked
by Ceryna3
Summary: Little did Kei know that in the same way he got hooked on volleyball, he could also get hooked on a person. All it took was a moment. TsukkixOC. "Aihara?" Kei asks. "Yes?" "Where are the strawberries?" Ren smiles. "Sorry, Tsukki," she says sadly, "it's just my shampoo." Damn her. "And maybe my soap too." Damn her again. "Sorry to disappoint you." Hell, he's not disappointed, he's-
1. Chapter 1: No Promises

**Chapter One: No Promises**

Ren trudges up the stairs to the apartment, her backpack slung over one aching shoulder and her sports bag over the other. A few bags of groceries are slung over her left arm. She rummages through her bag for her keys, unlocks the door and wanders into the dark apartment.

"I'm home," she says tiredly to no one. She sets the groceries down on the counter, flicking on the light switch.

Nothing happens.

She tries again.

Still nothing.

Ren sighs, pulling out her phone and sending a quick text to Tsukki. _Power's out. Might not be able to cook dinner._ He wouldn't see it until he left from practice, which gave her more than enough time to enjoy a relaxing shower without him bothering her.

She opens the door to her room and comes face to face with a _mess_. Her bedroom window is broken, glass littering her desk and floor. Her school papers, which she'd organized last night, are scattered around the room, rattling with the breezes flowing in from the broken window. And her pleasant cream colored walls are stained with ink.

Written in giant characters on the wall across from her bed is a word: _die_.

Ren stumbles back, one hand clutching her sports jacket and the other bracing herself on the door frame. White-knuckled, she shudders, attempting to take deep breaths to calm down. _That's right,_ she thinks, _deep breaths_. What to do? _First, clean up the glass_.

She sets her bags down and goes for the cleaning supplies, locating the broom and dustpan and putting her shoes back on. Her movements are calm despite her heavy heart. Precisely angled sweeps efficiently direct the shards into the pan. As soon as most of the shards are off the floor, she cleans off her desk, collecting her papers and setting one of her textbooks on top of them. She runs the vacuum around, picking up the remaining shards and can finally take an inventory on her room. A once-over seems to indicate that nothing was stolen, so she turns her attention to the wall.

 _Die_.

The message needs to go.

Ren carefully puts her sports club jacket aside and goes for a bucket, sponge, and other cleaning supplies. She takes another look at her wall.

 _Die_.

She remembers a little girl who read anything she could get her hands on. A little girl who saw the world and understood it, taking it in through observant eyes. A quick-witted, sharp-tongued little thing that people resented. The resentment transfigured into bitter hatred, enough that Ren and her parents determined it was in her best interests to leave.

So she went far, far away, across the country to end up at Chidoriyama Middle School. Still read anything she could get her hands on, and started aikido. She made a few new friends, but she was quieter than ever before. That is, until she ran into a spunky character that ended up treating her to Gari-Gari-kuns.

After Ren was befriended by Nishinoya Yuu, things started looking up, and Ren took it upon herself to follow after him to Karasuno High. She met the team, branched out into art, and ended up sharing a two bedroom apartment with one of Yuu's teammates, Tsukishima Kei. Incidentally, Kei was also in her class.

He teased her a lot, but it was all harmless. She had no problem staying composed. She also had no problems cooking meals and cleaning up after the both of them. He teased her about that, too. She was unfazed. And when Tsukki finally got around to asking her how she remained so calm, her response simply was, "I've had worse."

Tsukki didn't tease her as much after that.

He only started up again when she got in the spirit of sarcastic comebacks.

Ren thought she was done with people telling her to-

 _Die_.

She doesn't think a sarcastic comeback will help here... but she doesn't want to panic and give in.

Several deep breaths and many thoughts later, when the power is back on, Ren has an idea.

But first, the window.

Ren cuts up a large plastic bag and carefully tapes it to block the broken area, placing spare towels beneath the window. She moves her valuables to a small box and places it out of the way in the living room. After rigging a camera to face the window and making her room's door hinges squeak, she calls the landlady about getting someone for the repairs.

* * *

A good rinse off and a long, hot bath provide less relief than Ren had hoped. Dressed in sweats and an old t-shirt of Tsukki's, she goes about preparing ingredients for their dinner: oyakodon. She dices onions and steams the rice, and is about to start on the chicken when her phone dings.

 _New message from Tsukki: I'm expecting dinner, power or no power_. His normalcy causes her to smile a little, and she shoots back a retort before cooking the chicken.

* * *

 _One new message from Aihara: Power's out. Might not be able to cook dinner_.

"Tch." Kei eyes his phone with annoyance before a smirk takes over. _I'm expecting dinner, power or no power,_ he types, sending the message off to amuse Ren. "Tch." To _annoy_ her, not _amuse_ her.

"Everything okay, Tsukki?" Tadashi asks as they head out from the gym.

"Yeah." His phone vibrates, and he takes a look. _New message from Aihara: Power's back. Still might not be able to cook dinner._ Kei scoffs.

Tadashi frowns. "Now what?"

Kei shows him the messages.

"Mhmm," Tadashi says. "I'm sure Ren will have dinner on the table for you when you get home. She hasn't let you down yet, right?"

Kei chooses not to respond. _Not yet she hasn't._

The two continue in the direction of the apartment. "What's Ren supposed to make for you tonight?"

"...Oyakodon."

Tadashi looks pointedly at Kei. "That's your favorite!"

"And?" Kei walks a little faster.

Tadashi rolls his eyes. "So, when are you going to confess?"

Kei stops, peering over his shoulder at his friend. There Tadashi goes _again_ with this confessing thing. "There's nothing to confess," Kei says quickly. "See you tomorrow." He heads for the apartment, shaking those thoughts away.

He tries, anyway.

 _Aihara Ren_. She appeared in his life when he and Tadashi arrived at Karasuno. She was short. Taller than Hinata, as he would discover, but still short. She had hair the color of dark chocolate and introduced herself in as few words as possible. _"Hello. I'm Aihara Ren from Chidoriyama. I like aikido. Thanks for having me."_

It became apparent after the preliminary tests for each subject- to Kei at least- that Aihara Ren was... well, _brainy_. She had a knack for the material, but stayed silent during class. It also became apparent, after meeting a boisterous Hinata and hotblooded Kageyama, than Ren was one of the few people that managed to not get on his nerves. This came as a surprise to both Tadashi and Kei.

The next surprise came when she showed up at one of the team practices. With Nishinoya, of all people.

"Guys! Guys!" Nishinoya exclaimed, jumping around wildly. "This is Ren! I know her from Chidoriyama! Say hi, Ren!"

"Hi," Ren said. She waved in Kei's direction. He ignored her. Tadashi waved for him.

"Kiyoko-san!" Nishinoya exclaimed upon seeing the manager and rushed over, nearly bumping into Tanaka. "Kiyoko-san, do you anybody who's looking for an apartment? Ren-chan's looking for a roommate!"

Kei found this bit of information interesting and tuned out the rest of the conversation. After his fallout with Akiteru, who was going to be home for a bit, Kei was looking to stay elsewhere. While crashing with Tadashi would work short-term, Tadashi was, well, Tadashi. He didn't need to spend all his time with him.

Kei meandered over to Ren. "What're your roommate criteria?" he asked, a smirk playing on his lips.

Ren narrowed her eyes at him. "Who're you asking for?"

"Me."

"You?" She raised one eyebrow. That was interest, not rejection.

"Yep."

"Alright." She took a moment to think. "Are you an organized person?"

He stared down at her. _Habits_. "Most of the time."

"Do you eat obscene amounts of food?"

It was his turn to raise an eyebrow. "No."

"What type of music do you listen to?"

Where was this line of questioning going? "Multiple types, Aihara."

She narrowed her eyes again. "You got a favorite, Tsukishima?"

So she did remember his name. "Nope." He smirked.

"Genre you most often listen to." She rephrased her question.

This was getting interesting. "Alternative."

"Know how to cook?"

Well, she was still asking questions... "The basics."

"Do you have a perpetual smirk?"

Said smirk vanished for a second, but came right back. "Maybe."

"Fine," Ren continued. "Will you pay your rent on time?"

Was she serious? "Probably."

"If you don't, I'll get you to kick your own ass." She paused as he raised his eyebrow. "Aikido," she said, like that explained everything.

And then they were roommates.

As Kei discovered, Ren made killer food. She did make him go to the supermarket every now and then, but she was fair. And, as he discovered, rent consisted of just food and utilities, since Ren's parents were taking care of the cost of the apartment. Kei knew he got a good deal. Even though he had to make dinner occasionally.

Tonight was not one of those nights.

"I'm back," Kei says, locking the door behind him.

"Welcome back," Ren calls from the kitchen. Damn, he could smell the oyakodon from here. He also smells... strawberries?

Kei takes a bottle of water from the fridge, noting the absence of strawberries. "Aihara?" He asks, sitting down at the table.

"Yes?"

"Where are the strawberries?"

Ren smiles. "Sorry, Tsukki," she says sadly, "it's just my shampoo."

Damn her.

"And maybe my soap too."

Damn her again.

"Sorry to disappoint you."

Hell, he's not disappointed, he's- _don't finish that thought._

Kei eats the oyakodon, savoring the juicy chicken, fluffy egg, and cheesy sauce over the rice, trying not to notice Ren. This leads him to notice that Ren is not noticing him and is therefore very distracted. He noticed the box in the living area, the suitcase, and the futon on his way in.

"Earth to Ren," Kei says, waving a hand in front of her face. "What's going on? You heading out for a couple of days? Got someplace better to be?"

Ren blinks once, twice before looking away. "Not exactly."

Kei leans back with a casual smirk. "Care to explain?"

She gulps. "I think showing you would be easier." She pushes back from the table, stands, and heads for her room. Kei follows her.

"Did someone find your treasure trove of illegal information, Aihara?" Kei suggests, laughing a little.

Ren whirls around and takes his hand. _This is a first._ Her hand is small. Soft, warm, and... _trembling?_

"Please, Kei," she says in a very small voice, not meeting his eyes, "Don't laugh. Not about this."

Not even when Tadashi called him pathetic did Kei feel this level of earnestness. He swallows, pushing his glasses up on his nose and calls up his smirk. "No promises."


	2. Chapter 2: Strawberries

**Chapter Two: Strawberries**

Ren bites her lip, feeling like she wants to cry, or laugh, or both. She opens the door and flicks on the light switch. "Watch your step," she warns quietly. "There might still be some glass."

Tsukki steps over the threshold and into her room, surveying the area. "Everything looks fi-" He stops mid-word. The large 死ね on the wall appears to have silenced him.

 _Die._

Ren avoids looking at anything in the room. She doesn't notice Tsukki observing the plastic over the window, and how it feels ten degrees colder in her room than in the rest of the apartment. She doesn't notice his jaw clench, or his hands ball up into fists for an instant before calming.

"Tch."

She looks up at him, shame visible in her eyes, and wonders how she annoyed him this time.

"I've seen enough," Tsukki says, hastily flicking off the light switch, steering her out of the room, and closing the squeaky door. He walks back over to the dinner table, sitting down again. After a moment, he takes a second helping of oyakodon.

Ren's limbs feel weak. She heads over to the table and sits back down, taking a few more bites of oyakodon. "I already called the landlady about the repairs. The window should be fixed by the end of the week."

"That doesn't explain why someone broke into your room and wrote 'die' on your wall."

She sucked in a breath. "I didn't know you wanted an explanation," she retorts, not meeting his eyes. _That sounded lame._

"I'm waiting." She could hear him smirk.

Ren clasps her hands together, takes a breath, and forces the words out, wincing. "People don't like that I'm smart."

Tsukki snorts. "People don't like that I'm tall."

"You leer at people. And you're tall," she shoots back. "It's the combination people don't like."

"Is that so?" He sits up taller just to spite her.

She glares up at him. "Yes!" Ren knows Tsukki's heard an earful about his height, but it mostly happens during games. During practice, it's from Hinata. It's direct. Not like the whispers about her. "Sorry," she says, averting her gaze. Collecting her words, she moves her bowl aside and clasps her hands together on the tabletop. "Back when I lived in Hiroshima, I was a little know-it-all. I had an answer for just about everything."

"How is that any different from now?"

"The amount of shit I get for it is a whole lot less." She pauses, and hastily adds on, waving a finger in his direction, "That does _not_ mean you should give me any more shit about my brains than you already do."

"It's rude to point, you know." Tsukki stands, taking the bowls. He sets them beside the sink and walks away.

"I wasn't done!" Ren protests, on the edge of exasperation.

Tsukki brings her bowl back, smirking, and sets it down in front of her. "Sorry."

Ren looks at the bowl, and proceeds to close her eyes. She inhales deeply and exhales sharply. _Once more. Deep breath._ She snatches her bowl and takes it to the sink. "Never mind." She jams her earbuds in and starts up a song, sticking her phone in her pocket and scrubs harshly at the dishes. After a minute, she peeks over her shoulder to find Tsukki standing in the doorway to his room.

He's looking at her.

"What are you looking at?" she bites out, cheeks tinged pink as she breaks his gaze. Rinsing off her hands, she makes onigiri from the leftovers, carefully shaping the rice around pieces of chicken and wrapping the results in seaweed. _And repeat._

* * *

Several onigiri sit in a container in the fridge. Ren's head is bent over her English homework, comparing notes from class to her textbook. Her eyes flit across the pages, skimming for evidence to confirm her answers. She lets out a sigh, closing her book and filing her homework away. Stretching out on the floor and setting her phone aside, she moves into some of her basic aikido exercises.

After exhausting that method of distraction, Ren decides to lay out her futon and watch TV. After a few minutes of absentminded channel surfing, she turns it off. She was able to focus through finishing her homework... now, her mind wanders back to- _die._

* * *

 _The first time, it was written in permanent marker across one of her bookmarks. It was confusing and it hurt. She'd gone to use the bathroom during the lunch break, and when she returned, it was there, like some kind of evil magic. She was nine: old enough to know what it meant, but not to fully understand why someone would write it there. Maybe it was an accident?_

 _The second time was about two months later, after compulsory exam scores came back. Her name sat at the top of the list. It wasn't as though her intelligence was_ extraordinary, _she'd thought at the time. She was ten. She just read books, and newspapers. She understood what her teachers were instructing without difficulty. It didn't make sense, someone telling her to die. What was the reason?_

 _Things were quiet for some time. No messages. Ren kept answering questions in class. The teachers turned to her if no one else would give the answer. She didn't realize that the others saw her precociousness as irritating. The messages resurfaced, more frequent than before. It was around that time the whispers started._

 _Alien. Robot. Inhuman. The ease with which she learned was thrown in her face repeatedly. She was questioning herself and her abilities more than most other preteens would._

 _After some trial and error, Ren discovered that her silence earned her a reprieve with the whispers and messages. She still scored well on exams, but had gone deathly silent in the classroom. Her silence carried over into her home life._

 _It was time to leave._

* * *

Kei, in the midst of doing his homework (listening to music) finds himself questioning how Ren could go from taunting him with strawberries (damn her) to _stealing_ his hand like that (damn her again) to looking so... guilty.

 _"People don't like that I'm smart."_

Maybe his comeback wasn't as appropriate as he originally thought.

Hinata had complained on numerous occasions that his height (190.5 cm) was unfair, but Kei never felt guilty about it. He was tall. The universe decided it. And he was that much better of a blocker because of it.

 _Why would she feel guilty about something she has no control over?_

And more importantly, what _damned idiot_ went around thinking it was _okay_ to:

1\. Break into Ren's apartment (which is also _his_ apartment) and

2\. Tell Ren to die?

And when did Ren become an exclusive case?

 _When are you going to confess?_

"Shut up, Tadashi."

* * *

At around ten, the light in the living room goes out from under Kei's door. Several minutes later, it clicks back on.

There's a knock on his door. "Tsukki?"

Kei stifles a yawn. "Yeah?" he says lazily, sliding his headphones down around his neck.

"I can't sleep, so I'm gonna go for a walk."

He's out of his desk chair and opening the door before thinking about it. A smirk settles on his face as he asks her, "Wearing that?"

She's still in sweatpants and an old shirt of his. She looks down at her clothes and back up at him. "Is there a problem?"

 _Her looking like that in his clothes is_ definitely _a problem._ Kei blindly snags one of his sweaters and throws it over her face. "Not anymore," he says, shrugging on his club jacket and moving past her into the living room. He puts on his shoes. "Are we going?"

Ren pulls his sweater over her head and moves her hair out of her face. She sighs, hiding her hands in the sleeves, and joins him at the door. "Apparently, we are."

* * *

The wind is brisk.

They've walked several blocks now, and Ren isn't saying anything. Not that Kei feels the need to say anything either. He glances at her.

She's pulled up the collar of his sweater, her hands still hidden in the sleeves. Her eyes are glassy. She sniffles.

"Are you crying?" Kei finally breaks the silence.

"Yes," she deadpans, before rolling her eyes. "It's just cold."

Kei raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, _fine_ ," she admits. "I kind of want to, but I'm not going to."

"You can cry on my shoulder." He hears her footfalls stop behind him, and peers over his shoulder at her. When she stares up at him with wide eyes, he smirks. "If you can reach."

Ren fumes, blushing. With her 168 cm stature, she'd need to stand on her toes and have him stay still to reach his shoulder.

She tenses, darting in front of him and tugs down hard on the collar of his jacket.

Kei stumbles forward, and he's enveloped in the scent of strawberries. _Damn._ His nose is practically touching her neck. He needs-

"No strawberry pocky for you," she says, her tone soft and her breath hot on his ear. "You sure you don't want to cry on my shoulder instead?"

Kei shouldn't. _He shouldn't_ , but... "I'll be fine. I have all the strawberries I need. Riiiight here." He sticks out his tongue and licks her neck.

Ren squeals in surprise, nearly tripping in her haste to push him away. "Kei," she blurts, wiping her neck with his sleeve, "what the hell was that?"

He struggles to keep his expression neutral. "I was distracting you." He turns and starts heading back towards the apartment to conceal his grin. Her reaction was _priceless._

After passing a few buildings, he turns back to look for her. A few seconds of staring is enough to get her to reluctantly shuffle in his direction. When she finally reaches his side, she looks at him, narrows her eyes, and seethes, " _Don't_ do that again."

"Like I would do that again," he replies nonchalantly, adjusting his headphones slightly. "You're gross."

"I took a shower. How am I still gross?"

"It's inherent." He smirks.

Her retort is immediate. "You're inherently rude."

"People are inherently annoying."

"Even me?"

"Yep."

"Wow."

The bitter quality of her voice surprises him. _Oops._ "You less so than other people," he explains.

"Was that supposed to make me feel better?"

"Did it make you feel better?"

She falters, thinking about it. "I suppose... that is kind of a compliment, coming from you."

"Take it however you like."

Ren's coffee eyes widen as a devious smile emerges. She whips out her phone, fingers fluttering over the screen, and she holds it up to her ear. "Hey, Tadashi!"

 _What is she doing?_

"Sorry to disturb you, but you asked me to tell you if _it_ happened."

 _It?_

Tadashi's noise of surprise is loud enough for Kei to hear. Ren remains quiet, listening to Tadashi for a full thirty seconds before saying, "whoa, slow down. This is _Tsukki_ we're talking about."

Kei plucks the phone out of her hand and holds it to his ear. "This is who you were talking to Ren about," he says slowly, deadly calm.

"Oh. Hey Tsukki," Tadashi says sheepishly.

"Did you ask Ren to tell you if I complimented her?"

"... Maybe."

Kei hangs up and hands Ren her phone. He slides his headphones on, heading down the street to their apartment without looking back. His phone vibrates with a message as he turns on his music.

 _New message from Tadashi: You're too shrewd for your own good._

After a few minutes, his phone buzzes again. _New message from Tadashi: TSUKISHIMA KEI DID WHAT?_

Followed instantly by: _... That was meant for Ren. Sorry._

Buzz. _But seriously, what were you thinking?_

Kei, arriving at the apartment, heads into his room and closes the door, resting his forehead against it. "Tch."

* * *

Tadashi, having given up on Tsukki sending him a response, goes to bed. Since he silenced his notifications, he misses the response he was waiting for:

 _New message from Tsukki: She smelled like strawberries._

* * *

 **a/n:**

168 cm ~= 5'6" (Ren)  
190.5cm ~= 6'3" (Tsukki got taller!)

Inspired by Passion Pit's song, _Take a_ _Walk_.

Special thanks to my first reviewers, Mandalorian1207 and CarrieQFD!

Hope you're having a wonderful holiday!

P.S. Let me know what you think of Tsukki and Ren's characterization!


	3. Chapter 3: Silence (with Omake)

**Chapter Three: Silence**

Ren pulls her blankets over her blushing face.

After attempting to hide from her thoughts, she gives up, pokes her head out, and snags her phone to check the time. 6:58 am, just a few minutes before her alarm would go off.

How she actually managed to sleep, she has no idea. Tsukki must have short-circuited her brain by... doing _that._

 _"I have all the strawberries I need riiiight here."_

Ren squeaks and pulls her blankets back up over her head. _That was embarrassing._ And how much did she actually tell Tadashi last night? She consults her phone.

Tadashi _: So what did he say?_

Her: _He just said I wasn't as annoying as other people._

Tadashi: _Oh._

Tadashi: _Did he say anything else?_

Her: _He said I was gross._

Tadashi: _He said that?_

Her: _Yeah! And he_ _had the nerve to say that after he..._

Tadashi: _What did he do?_

Her: _... He licked my neck._

Tadashi: _TSUKISHIMA KEI DID WHAT?_

Her: _I know. He's the gross one._

Tadashi: _Of course._

Her: _I'll see you tomorrow. Get some rest, Tadashi._

Tadashi: _Alright. Goodnight, Ren._

Thank the gods she didn't say anything else embarrassing. And even if she did, Tadashi wouldn't tease her. Though he might accidentally let something slip to Tsukki.

 _Tsukki..._

She clasps her hands together and sends out a silent prayer. _Please, kamisama, let me have the courage to face him t_ _oday._ She shuts her eyes tight, adding on an afterthought. _And please, kamisama, never let him know that I..._ she winces. _Never let Tsukishima Kei know that I might have_ liked _the distraction._

Her alarm sounds, and she rapidly shuts it off, moving to fold up her futon. Once it's out of the way, she heads for her room, opening the squeaky door and making a beeline for her bathroom. Flicking on the light, she looks in the mirror.

She's _still wearing Tsukki's sweater._ "Eeehh!"

The slightly offensive object is relocated to a hanger outside her bathroom as she changes into her uniform. After washing her face and brushing her teeth and hair, she steps out into her room. And looks straight at the highly offensive _die_.

Ren is stuck for a moment, a shiver running through her before she points at the characters. "Not today," she says, voice only slightly shaky. "I have other things to worry about." She locates a scarf in her closet and tries to not run out of the room.

* * *

She's in the middle of making breakfast when Tsukki emerges from his room. "Morning," he says lazily.

"Morning," Ren replies, wincing as it comes out more curtly than she intended.

Tsukki looks at her, raising an eyebrow. "You sleep alright?" he asks, taking one of the plates of toast she prepared.

"Yep," she answers casually, trying to counterbalance her earlier response. "No thanks to you."

After crunching through a bite of toast, he responds. "You're welcome?" He heads for the fridge.

Ren rolls her eyes. "I already got you a glass of juice."

"I was going for my lunch," Tsukki says.

"Your bento is on the counter by the door," Ren says, a little confused. "Like it usually is."

Tsukki reverses his course, snagging his other slice of toast and munching on it. Ren sips her coffee as Tsukki gulps down his glass of juice. He's rinsing off his dishes when she takes her first bite of toast.

He heads for the door. _Really?_ He's going to leave without her again?

 _Oh no he doesn't._

She inhales the rest of her toast, downs the rest of her coffee, and hikes up her knee high socks. The door clicks shut as she slides into her coat and tucks in her scarf. She shoves her bento into her school bag, slinging it over one shoulder and her aikido bag over the other, snags her keys and slips into her shoes, and she's out the door, falling face first into a smug Tsukki. "Eep!"

He stumbles backward, somehow managing to keep his balance, and brings his hands up to her shoulders to steady her. "Didn't see that coming, did you?"

 _His hands are warm._

Flushing, Ren shrugs out of his hold and turns to lock the door. "You didn't come from anywhere! You were just standing there, waiting for me to fall on you!" She puts her keys in her pocket, throwing her hands up in surrender and starts walking. "Who does that?"

"You didn't answer my question."

She recalls that he _did_ ask her a question, looks up at his annoyingly endearing smirk- _wait, endearing?_ She flushes some more and looks away before answering, "F=MA. I saw you too late to adjust my momentum, and gravity took care of the rest." When she doesn't get a reply, she glances at him and notices he's put on his headphones.

 _He wasn't listening_ _._

The thought _stings._ Like a slap, but somehow... _worse_. Stuffing her earbuds in her ears, she starts up her new music and stares straight ahead. _Fine._ _Don't listen to me._

* * *

Just as the bass is about to drop, one of her earbuds is yanked out of her ear. She turns to Tsukki open-mouthed, ready to shout an expletive, but he says, "Trade."

That stops her short. She nods, hastily stuffing her earbud back in her ear, and rewinds the song a little to catch the bass drop in full. She'd come up with the idea shortly after Tsukki moved in, discovering they had similar taste in music.

Whenever both of them were listening to music, if either of them got curious about what the other was listening to, they just said, "trade." After the song finished, she would unplug her earbuds from her phone, replace them with Tsukki's headphone jack, and replay the song. Tsukki would plug her earbuds into his phone and restart the song he was just listening to. If they were in the apartment, the trade usually led to a few minutes of silence followed by a rapid exchange of CDs with Tsukki asking her why she was hiding the CD from him.

As the electronic melody fades out, she tugs her earbuds out of the jack and hands them over to Tsukki, dragging the play bar back to the beginning of the song. He hands her his headphone jack and she plugs it into her phone. She ups the volume slightly, knowing he likes it louder, and presses play before thinking she shouldn't care so much about what he likes.

* * *

Kei could taste trouble (in the form of no strawberries) the instant after he pulled Ren's earbud out. As she's about to curse at him, he says the one thing that might distract her. "Trade."

He isn't sure if he was expecting her to agree or not, and he doesn't realize he held his breath even after she nods.

Putting his objective of distraction aside, he is interested in her new music. He hands her his headphone jack, wondering what kind of music made her look like she wanted to fight something.

* * *

Five minutes later, Kei wonders what the _hell_ he just listened to, because it was _interesting_ , and he's _stuck not knowing what it is because Ren won't talk to_ _him_.

She doesn't say a word, not when they meet up with Tadashi. Not a word when they get to school. Not during class, not during lunch, not even after school.

Kei never thought a silence could be... _intimidating_. Ren's muteness was annoying.

 _Why did 'annoying' not feel like the right word?_

* * *

"Tsukki, is Ren okay? She hasn't said a thing all day," Tadashi asks Kei on their way to practice.

Kei grumbles in response.

"Did you do something else weird to her?"

"No."

"So... what's going on?"

"... I don't know," Kei mumbles.

"What?"

Kei finally looks Tadashi square in the eye. "I. Don't. Know."

Tadashi blinks, dumbfounded. (He didn't think Tsukki would admit to it.)

Kei looks away. "She's being annoying."

"No, she's not." Tadashi pauses. "Tsukki, you're worried."

 _Worried?_

Kei didn't really get worried, as far as life was concerned. Sure, he was occasionally apprehensive before games, but he wasn't all that concerned about the outcomes. Of course, his knowledge of his skills and careful analysis of his opponents are mostly the reasons for that.

He'd never seen Ren all that worried either, until last night. Her aptitudes for learning and remembering material weren't things she should worry or feel guilty about. _So people don't like that she's smart, someone tells her to die..._

"Tsukki, you're worried. Let it out in practice. Then go home and do something nice for her."

"... tch."

"I'm serious!" Tadashi says earnestly. "You _are_ worried about her. And the easiest way to stop being worried about her is to help her be herself again."

Kei considers this. Tadashi's telling him to cheer her up. _Tch._ That means doing something she likes. _Aihara likes music. She likes aikido. She likes books and..._ food.

Aha.

After he tells Tadashi his idea, his friend looks absolutely gleeful. "Okay, I'll let you slip out of practice a little early. Let me know how it goes!"

"Tch."

* * *

Kei ignores the stares from some of the other shoppers in the supermarket. His height makes him stick out, but it's not like they haven't seen him there before. He consults the list of ingredients on his phone, hoping the person who wrote the recipe knew what he was doing, because _he_ certainly doesn't. Knowing the basics of cooking was one thing, but picking out the correct ingredients for tempura soba was another.

Not to mention cooking itself. That was an _entirely_ different thing.

Finding fresh green onions wasn't that hard. Scanning the shelf of noodles, he picks out the package that looks like the one Ren usually buys, and looks back at the list. He figures that several of the other ingredients, like soy sauce and bonito flakes, are readily available in the apartment. But the shrimp...

There's a separate ingredient list for the tempura, and a separate set of instructions that looks too complex for him to attempt by himself. He can't ask Ren for help if he's... _going to cook for her?_

Since when did he do that voluntarily?

Kei heads for the frozen section, finding a box of shrimp tempura, and heads back to the front. And... _hold on._

Was that a _Karasuno Aikido Club jacket_ he just saw?

He follows the flash of black, discovering that the owner has dark brown hair in a sloppy bun that manages to look... _good?_ She's wearing the uniform skirt instead of the jacket's matching pants, so her long legs are on display.

 _Long legs?_ Ren was the tallest girl in the aikido club. _But wasn't she wearing longer socks this morning?_

He looks at the contents of the shopping basket balanced on her hip. Sponge cake mix, juice, whipped cream, and... _were those strawberries?_

She glances in his direction and stops dead, her hand frozen in front of a container.

It was Ren.

 _What the hell happened to her socks?_

Shaking off that thought, he strides in her direction. He arrives as her hand slowly closes around a container of... vanilla frosting. "Are you making me strawberry shortcake?" He smirks, gesturing to the contents of her basket.

Her cheeks, already tinged pink, turn darker. She hastily glances at his basket, and her eyes widen. She looks back up at him. "Were you going to make me tempura soba?"

 _She responded._ Kei gives her a cheeky grin. "Nope. It's for me."

"No it's not." She stares at him, a small smile playing on her lips. "We both know you can't cook worth a damn."

"Isn't that why you're making me strawberry shortcake?"

Ren rolls her eyes. "Yes, the shortcake is for you."

"Good."

She hardens her stare. "Only if you help me with the tempura soba."

 _There's the catch._

"And you can't eat any strawberries while I shower."

 _Damn._ No strawberries, _and_ a mental image of her in the shower.

"Do we have a deal?"

"Yep." Kei nods. _That better be one hell of a strawberry shortcake._

As if she could hear him, Ren smirks. "Tsukki, you're not going to know what hit you."

"Surprise me."

* * *

 **a/n:**

Song Trade: Ren ( _Our Demons_ by The Glitch Mob), Tsukki ( _Ready to Start_ by Arcade Fire)

Special thanks to Guest, Mandalorian1207, and CarrieQFD!

To Guest: Glad you're here!

To Mandalorian1207: I know you're supposedly dead from last chapter, but just so you know, your review gave me life!

To CarrieQFD: Thanks for the support!

AND NOW: Omake featuring overzealous Tadashi: **The Phone Call**

* * *

Tadashi figures it's either Tsukki or Ren who's calling him at this hour. He picks up his phone, letting his yawn finish before answering. "Hello?"

"Hey, Tadashi."

"Hey, Ren. What's up?"

"Sorry to disturb you, but you asked me to tell you if _it_ happened."

"EEHHHHHHH?" If Tadashi wasn't awake before, he sure was now. "He complimented you? Wow! Was it about your clothes? Your hair? It was your eyes, wasn't it? Or your food, because your cooking is amazing. What adjective did he use? Pretty? Beautiful? Nice? Cute?"

"Whoa, slow down. This is _Tsukki_ we're talking about."

"You're right, he probably-"

"This is who you were talking to Ren about."

"Oh. Hey Tsukki."

"Did you ask Ren to tell you if I complimented her?"

Tadashi hesitates before answering. "Maybe." After a moment, he blurts, "Tsukki, this is very important!" He's left with the dial tone. "Hello?"

(The next morning)

 _One new message from Tsukki: She smelled like strawberries._

"AHA!" Tadashi exclaims, sitting bolt upright. "I knew it would take someone really smart to make him this silly."


	4. Chapter 4: Confession

**Chapter Four: Confession**

Dressed in shorts and a tank and feeling refreshed from her shower, Ren strides out of her bathroom and directly over to the _die._

The characters loom in front of her eyes. "You just couldn't stay gone, could you?" She mutters, shivering. _Where did she put her sweater?_

So much for being organized.

Tsukki's cream-colored sweater, sitting on a hanger, looks warm. She tugs it over her head and points at the glaring message, mustering up the energy to curse at it.

"Fuck!"

It sounds less angry and more dejected than she wanted it to. She sighs. _It's a start. She can't be silent about it._

Which is why she was going to talk to Tsukki.

Well, _attempt_ to talk to Tsukki.

There was no guarantee he wouldn't laugh or tease her, like he did yesterday. Odds are he'd interrupt her with snarky comments and that damned smirk of his. And maybe, just maybe, he'd distract her.

Ren knows Tadashi would be more understanding. He'd apologize, even though he had nothing to do with it, comfort her, and try to cheer her up.

But she doesn't want to be comforted. She doesn't want to be _pitied_. She wants to move past the shame.

And to do that... she has to acknowledge it.

 _"Fuck!"_

She cringes. _There it is._ The pain of an old wound, never fully closed, reopening.

A shudder rips through her. Hissing out a breath, she grits her teeth, standing tall. "Just you wait," she growls, reining in the hurt. "Just you fu-"

A knock at her door interrupts her. "If you're done talking to your wall," Tsukki says lazily, "dinner isn't going to make itself."

In the privacy of her room, Ren allows herself to smile. Well, grimace. _Deep breaths._ Slowly, it turns into a smile. "You better not have eaten all the strawberries," she says sweetly, leaving her room and the message behind. Closing the door softly, she saunters into the kitchen, confirming that Tsukki did indeed break into the strawberries.

She surveys the countertop, ignoring him as he bites into another strawberry. _Did he eat all of them yet?_

Less than half appear to be missing from one container. She'd bought two. _Not even close._

"Were you restraining yourself? I thought you'd have eaten all of them by now."

Tsukki smirks. "Can't have you make me a strawberry shortcake with no strawberries. That'd be a crime."

Ren rolls her eyes. "Then you'd have to arrest yourself for ruining your dreams of strawberry desserts."

"It's both physically and legally impossible for me to arrest myself."

"Then I'll do it." She stares him down. He raises an eyebrow. She turns away. "Though I guess it'll have to wait," she says, defeated. _There goes that idea._ "Where are handcuffs when you need them?"

She pulls a half-used package of soba, some kombu, and some bonito flakes out of the pantry. "Well?" she asks him, the ingredients stacked haphazardly in her arms. "Can you get the shoyu for me?"

"I _can._ "

She glares at him. _"Will_ you?"

"Debatable."

Ren doesn't know who she's more frustrated with: him, or herself. _To think he would even listen to her?_ She plops the ingredients on the counter, before shooting a hesitant glance in his direction. _Well, he_ was _going to make me tempura soba. By_ _himself_ , no less.

"Please."

She avoids his gaze, deliberately looking down and to her left, biting her lip.

The smirk vanishes off his face.

"Fine."

She peers up at him, surprised. Upon eye contact, he moves towards her, places his hands on her shoulders, and says, "go sit in the living room," before immediately releasing her.

Ren wavers for a moment but heads for the table. "But what about dinner?"

"... We'll make it later."

She rests her head on the table, closes her eyes, and listens to cabinet doors open and close, the clink of porcelain, and the sound of liquid being poured. The fridge door opens and closes, and the sink faucet goes on...

Feeling sleepy, she lets out a yawn- only to be jolted up moments later by the loud noise of something hitting the table.

"Eh?" A mug of steaming tea is in front of her, along with a plate of sliced strawberries.

Tsukki sits down across the table from her. "Spill."

 _Oh._ It never crossed her mind that _Tsukki_ would start this conversation. "What, the tea?"

"Yes, the tea." The tone of his remark is strange, with just a hint of sarcasm... _is he inviting her to talk to him?_

 _Well, it's what she was going to try to do anyway..._ except she has no words. She opens her mouth to speak, but shuts it before anything comes out. _Where'd the words go? They were just here..._

"When did it start?"

Ren flinches at the question, taking a sip of her tea to calm down. _Deep breath._ And she finds her voice.

"I was nine. Someone thought it would be a nice message to stick on my bookmark while I was out of the room. I thought it was an accident." She pauses, taking another sip of tea. _Swallow._ It slides down her throat, clearing the way for more words. "After exam scores came back, the next one... happened. No explanation. I didn't want to tell anyone.

"After that, there was a break. Long enough for me to think it all really was an unintended mistake." Ren takes a strawberry piece and bites into it. It tastes sweet, but her thoughts are bitter. _Keep going._ "But in the back of my mind, I kept thinking, _is this really the end?_ And the nagging suspicion it would happen again was... proven _right_."

She winces at the thought, but continues. "It's a coincidence the first time, a mistake the second time, and the third..." She looks him in the eye. _This part he'll understand._ "By the third time, it's a pattern."

* * *

The way Ren's eyes meet his- _demanding comprehension-_ makes Kei slightly uncomfortable. And her use of the word _pattern..._

Kei usually liked patterns. They made life easier. Chronological patterns- like waking up at the same time each day. Game patterns, like play strategies. Once he saw through them, matches were relatively easy to win. School patterns- classes in a specific order. People had patterns too- he wasn't as good at reading those.

He'd improved, of course. But Ren was part enigma. She only had patterns sometimes. _Which made her all the more interesting._

But the pattern she's talking about brings an acrid taste to the back of his throat. Kei swallows it down with a gulp of tea.

She drops her gaze, takes a sip of her tea and is quiet for a while.

 _What would Tadashi do?_

Tadashi was better with people than Kei was. He always had been. Tadashi would tell him to... take her hand (somewhat feasible), apologize (used in sarcastic situations only), hug her (even less feasible), and be sincere (he had enough trouble being sincere with himself).

He slides his hand toward hers, but she shrinks away.

 _Damn it._

But his action prompts her to speak.

"After that... it got worse." Her voice is barely above a whisper, and she's shaking. "It wasn't just messages anymore. It was the whispers." She clenches her hands together, her knuckles white. "And the eyes on the back of my head. They wouldn't stop staring. They just couldn't shut up about me, how unnatural I was, that I wasn't human, that I belonged in a _laboratory_ because I was so _fucking extraordinary."_

 _She's raising her voice._ So she's angry? About being extraordinary? _There's nothing wrong with being extraordinary._

Ren narrows her eyes at him, the sudden change in her demeanor causing him to flinch. "This isn't just 'oh, she's exceptionally smart,' like someone telling you you're incredibly tall, Kei," she says coolly. "This is _let's punish her because she's doesn't struggle like the rest of us._ This is _l_ _et's crack open her skull and dissect her_ _brain_. This is _let's tear her apart_ _to find out if she's even human._ " She closes her eyes, pinches the bridge of her nose, and looks up at the ceiling, blinking rapidly.

 _She's holding back tears._

His eyes widen. _What the hell is he supposed to do?_ Get her a tissue? _The box is too far away._ Give her his handkerchief? _She'd get it... dirty. (It would smell like strawberries forever.)_ Hug her? _Even if he wanted to, the table's in the way._

 _"Don't worry about that!_ _"_ There goes Tadashi. _"Just do something!"_

This wasn't a situation in which reassuring would work. And Ren wasn't someone who would appreciate a hand on the shoulder and "there, there," bullshit.

By the time Kei decides to try and take her hand again (against his better judgment), she's calmed down enough to take another slice of strawberry.

"I don't get it," she says softly. "I'm not extraordinary. I'm _not,"_ she declares. "I just have better memory retention, I guess. But that's it."

"So?" The word slips out before he can take it back.

Ren peers up at him. _"So?"_ She laughs coldly. _"_ They broke into my room, my safe place, and _vandalized_ it with a message they knew would fuck with my mental and emotional states. They're waiting for me to fall apart. And as much as I don't want to, I can _feel_ myself falling apart. This is a _game_ to them, and I've played right into their hands." She slumps, supporting her chin with her palm and chugs the rest of her tea.

 _A game?_

The answer becomes clear. "Change the tempo."

"What?"

"Change the tempo," he repeats. She raises an eyebrow. Kei sighs. "It's a volleyball strategy. You're too caught up in what your opponents are doing. Step back, slow down, and refocus."

Ren sits up straighter, only to slump back down. "Easier said than done."

"Most things are. Do it anyway."

She sighs, before standing up. Taking a step back from the table, she closes her eyes, takes a few deep breaths, and presses her fingers to her temples like she's trying to use telepathy.

Kei can't help his snort.

Her coffee eyes flick over to him. "What?" she asks skeptically, drawing out the 'a'.

"I didn't mean it literally."

"Pfft." A hint of a smile crosses her face before fading away. "I know. It's just hard to refocus when the problem is my brain." She knocks on the side of her head, sighing again. "I like being smart, I really do. But sometimes, I really don't like my brain."

Kei stands up and heads for the kitchen. _"I_ happen to like your brain."

He doesn't see her mouth fall open.

"Really?" Her reply is choked.

In the kitchen now, he turns around. Her cheeks are pink and her jaw hangs open. He smirks. "It's the least annoying thing about you, in case you were wondering."

That shuts her mouth quick. After a moment, she lets out a genuine laugh. "I don't know what I was expecting," she says, shaking her head. Then she hesitates, like she wants to say something else, and spits it out. "I'm so going to regret this, but what's the most annoying thing about me?"

"Let's see..." Kei pretends to consider it. "It's a tie between your face and your snores. And maybe your laugh, too."

Ren snorts as she joins him in the kitchen.

"That noise too."

"Ha ha."

"And your sarcasm."

Cheeks tinged pink again, she scowls at him before retorting, "Your smirk is annoying."

 _Hearing that from her never got old._ "Thank you." He opens the fridge and hands her the shoyu that she requested earlier.

Never in a million years would he admit that her brain is the most interesting thing about her. Along with her eyes. And her sarcasm. And-

Damn.

"Shut _up,_ Tadashi," Kei mutters under his breath.

"What?"

"Never mind."

* * *

 **a/n:**

kombu: edible seaweed, most often used for flavoring broths/soup stocks  
bonito flakes: dried (fermented, and smoked) fish flakes also used for flavoring soups  
shoyu (technically shōyu): Japanese for 'soy sauce'

Thanks to all the story followers and favorites. _Thank you._ Thanks for reading and sticking around. It means a lot!

Special thanks to my reviewers for last chapter! (I can see them now!)

To Chezzu: Thanks! Hope you like how the story is progressing!

To Mandalorian1207: Sorry to have killed you off. More fluff next chapter, I promise. (Yes, I'm female.)

To LoStInIlLuSiOn: I'm glad you're liking both Ren and Tsukki's portrayals! And I have too much fun writing Tadashi.

To Celia: The reason I can update so quickly is because I'm still on break! We'll see what happens once I go back to campus next week... I'm glad you like the style!

To Senna Bluefire: Thanks! I'm working on expanding Tsukki's personality. And I like writing Ren. She's difficult too, but if she wasn't interesting, Tsukki wouldn't be into her.

Happy New Year! Best wishes for 2016!

Stay tuned for next chapter and potential omake!


	5. Chapter 5: Mercy

**Chapter Five: Mercy**

 _He likes her brain._

That thought alone is enough to distract Ren through the entire process of making tempura soba, making strawberry shortcake, eating tempura soba, decorating the cake, and partway through doing her homework.

Lying on her stomach across some of the cushions by the table, she reads the assigned passage for her English class. But she finds it increasingly difficult to focus with her distractor sitting on the other side of the table. Her eyes keep sliding over to him.

Tsukki is currently frowning at his textbook. He thumbs through it and flips to the end of a section of text, letting out a soft "tch" before returning to where he was before.

 _Focus!_ She shuts her eyes hard, blinking them open again after a moment. The text she's supposed to be reading blurs into view, ink finally settling into typeface she can understand. Letting out a sigh, she skims the section and turns the page, propping her chin up with her hand. Her eyes rapidly assess the material, sending a silent thank you to her dad for continually bringing her English books and music CDs. It had helped a lot with her English vocabulary and reading comprehension.

 _Music..._ She abruptly gets up, her textbook fluttering shut. Tsukki looks up at her briefly before staring down at his book again.

Ren goes for her box of valuables in the far corner. A few of her prized books are in it, along with her CD collection. The most recent addition to her collection is sitting on top, the album cover featuring a smoking samurai face mask. She holds it up to the light, admiring the design, before walking back over to the table. Sitting down across from Tsukki, she slides the CD across the table to him. "Here."

He sandwiches a finger in his textbook to mark his place before taking the CD. "What's the occasion?" He asks lazily, flipping it over to look at the back.

"Come on, you wanted to ask me about it all day."

His caramel eyes slide over to her, but his expression betrays nothing.

Ren allows a smirk to creep onto her face. "I saw the look on your face after you heard the song this morning."

Tsukki doesn't reply. He gingerly sets the CD face up on top of his finished work and resumes reading.

 _No reaction._ Oh well. _"_ I guess I'll just eat the entire strawberry shortcake all by myself," she says casually, moving to stand up from the table.

Not lifting his eyes from his book, Tsukki manages to successfully snag her wrist, pulling her back into a kneeling position. "Is that so?"

Startled by his sudden movement, the constriction around her wrist and the dangerously calm quality of his voice, she freezes for a moment. "Of course," she answers, keeping her voice level as she shifts her stance. Bringing up her knee, she swings her foot loosely in the direction of his face _just_ as he looks up.

His other hand effectively blocks her foot and latches onto it. "Checkmate." He smirks. _Oh no._ He runs his fingers along the underside of her foot, sending her into a fit of uncontrollable giggles and wheezes.

 _Shit._

She'd played right into his hands, giving him the perfect opportunity to tickle her foot.

"Ahh!" Her reflexive response causes her to collapse, and Tsukki relinquishes her wrist in favor of attacking her foot. "Eeeeee!" She attempts to yank her foot back. The problem is, Tsukki won't let go. "Tsukki! I surre- eehhh! Surrender!"

Tsukki's hand stops tickling for a moment as he considers it, giving her a moment to catch her breath. "Mmm..." A devilish glint appears in his eyes. _Damn, that's attractive._

Wait. _This can't be good._

He smirks before declaring, "I think not."

"Eeeh!" Ren attempts to ignore the tickling sensations, but can't keep her cheeks from flushing. Tuning out her laughter, she thinks of a way to fluster him... However, it'll only work if she can get over how embarrassing the plan is, _and_ pull it off without him noticing how embarrassed she is about it...

She wheezes some more before adjusting the tone of her voice. "Ahhh..." With all her laughing and wheezing, it'd be acceptable for her voice to be a bit throatier now. _Right?_ "Please, Kei," she gasps out. Steeling her nerves, and looks him in the eye as sultrily as she can manage, praying her cheeks won't burn. "Mercy."

He immediately releases her foot, standing up so fast he hits his head on the hanging lamp. He turns away, a hand to his mouth.

 _That was... unexpected._ Stashing the sultriness and throaty voice away, she asks as innocently as she can, "Kei... are you okay?"

Hand dropping from his mouth, he gestures in her direction, refusing to look at her. "Ren, you-"

 _He's deflecting._ "So, you ar-"

He whirls around, caramel eyes flashing. " _Don't_ do that again."

She reels back at the anger in his voice. _Okay._ _She went too far._ "I'm sorry," she says in a small voice, heading around him to the kitchen. She cuts a small slice of shortcake for herself, and a slightly oversize piece for Tsukki, garnishing his with extra strawberries.

A glance in his direction indicates he's still frozen in the same spot in the living room.

She brings over his slice of shortcake, offering it to him with both hands. "Truce?"

He accepts the plate and turns to sit down at the table, not looking at her. After eating a bite, in a quiet voice, he responds. "Truce."

Ren goes back to the kitchen for her own slice, bringing it over to the table. Taking a seat across from him, she takes small bites of her dessert and avoids looking at him.

"Aihara."

Hesitantly, she peers up at him.

"Thanks for the shortcake."

Tsukki takes her empty plate to the kitchen and rinses the dishes off before collecting his books and her CD. He heads for his room, but pauses in the doorway. "Night," he mutters, closing the door behind him.

After cleaning the dishes, brushing her teeth, and turning out the light, Ren curls up under her blankets, trying not to think about how surprisingly _easy_ it had been to look at Tsukki like that.

* * *

After gently closing the door to his room, Kei sits on his bed, running a hand through his hair.

Her eyes...

 _"Mercy."_

Shit.

Lying back, he pulls out his phone and texts _'help'_ to Tadashi before considering that this would give his friend more reasons to encourage him to confess to Ren.

But someone needed to be told.

Immediately.

Moments later: _new message from Tadashi: What happened?_

Kei's fingers hover over the keyboard. _He hadn't thought this far_. What should he say?

His phone buzzes. _New message from Tadashi: Did the food not go well?_

He squints at his screen. Okay, he wasn't the best person to be attempting anything in the kitchen. But he was not that bad of a cook. _The food part went fine._

Buzz. _Ren helped, didn't she?_

He narrows his eyes at his phone. _And?_

Buzz. _So what's the problem?_

The _problem?_ As in there was only _one?_ He sighs. _I may have..._ was he actually going to tell Tadashi? _I may have tickled her feet._

 _New message from Tadashi: You tickled her feet!? Cute! ;)_

Kei scowls at his phone screen. _Cute?_

The way Ren had looked at him was _not_ cute. Try _smoldering_ instead. And do _not_ tell Tadashi.

Buzz. _So what's the problem?_

He closes his eyes. _She claimed to surrender._

Tadashi: _That's not entirely unusual, is it?_

Well, _no..._ He heads for his bathroom, splashing cold water on his face, before reluctantly typing a response. _It's how she surrendered._

Buzz. _What did she do?_

Kei turns off his overhead light. _She gave me a weird look and begged mercy._

Instant reply. _Describe this "weird" look._

 _Alluring, I guess?_ He answers with a word less dangerous than _smoldering._

Tadashi: _... How did she beg mercy?_

Well, that was easy enough to answer. _By saying 'mercy.'_

(Tadashi resists the urge to facepalm.) _Elaborate._

 _Her voice got weird. Airy?_

Tadashi: _You mean breathy?_

Kei consults his mental dictionary. Breathy _would_ be an acceptable descriptor. _I guess._

His phone vibrates with an incoming call, which he hastily declines. _Aihara's gone to bed. I can't talk now,_ he explains.

A few minutes later. Tadashi: _Are you okay?_

He raises an eyebrow. He was expecting more of an interrogation, but figures if it isn't now, it'll be tomorrow. _I don't know._

Seeing her look at him like... _that..._ left him feeling unnerved. He didn't _not like_ it, but the way she'd gone from normal, to _that,_ and back to normal was just... and how she was _so_...

Before he forgets entirely, he sends Tadashi a final reply. _I'll be fine. Goodnight._ He silences his notifications and goes to brush his teeth, attempting to block all thoughts of her. And her eyes...

* * *

 _The disappointment was nothing new. If anything, Kei was used to it by now. The dull, aching numbness, repression of the world, abandonment of faith._

 _He had barely eaten at the group dinner, hadn't shed a tear- instead, shoving all the commotion behind a towering stone wall and sealing it shut._

 _Tadashi had made sure he made it to the apartment. They had parted ways at the stairs, and Kei had slowly walked up the grey mass of them. Letting himself into the apartment, he almost trips over Ren._

 _She ushers him into the living room, not saying anything. Not a word about her aikido tournament, which prevented her from coming to see the team's loss to Seijoh. Nothing. The silence is almost welcoming._

 _She has him sit at the table, and she goes into the kitchen. The sound of liquid, her footsteps, and then a bowl is placed in front of him._

 _He looks blankly at her, attempting to communicate with just his eyes._ I'm not hungry.

 _She stares back, gently shifting the bowl and its contents further in his direction._ Please.

 _Kei looks at the contents._ Soup. _As if she knew he wouldn't be able to eat much of anything._

 _A sigh escapes him, and he takes a sip of the broth._ Warm. Light. _Not as reluctant, he drinks the rest of it._

 _Ren brings him a glass of juice and a box of strawberry pocky, and offers him first pick of the snack._

 _He takes one, if only to appease her, biting into it. The sweet taste that he would normally enjoy feels tainted. Sliding the box back across the table to her, he moves to stand, but she catches one of his hands, her fingers running over callouses and red skin. Her eyes ask him to stay seated._

 _Unsure of what to do, he doesn't move._

 _Ren goes to the kitchen for a bowl and then returns, kneeling down in front of him. Setting his hands palm up on her knees, she takes a warm towel from the bowl and wipes down his palms. Putting the towel aside, she takes his hand and places her thumbs on his palm, applying pressure in small circles, slowly moving towards his fingers. After several minutes, she gives his other hand the same treatment._

 _Warmth seeps back into his hands. The numbness recedes, and against his will, the pain intensifies, stinging like a slow roasting burn._

 _As soon as she finishes, Kei pulls his hands away from her, putting up a dam against the flood of warmth._

 _He isn't prepared. He doesn't want it._

 _She lets out a sigh, putting the pocky away and taking his bowl and empty juice glass to the kitchen._

 _He heads for his room, to shut himself away, but freezes when he hears her voice._

 _It's the first time he hears her sing._

 _"Caledonian rich and young,  
self-entitled portrait  
court in session, justice done  
we'll rush into it anyway  
forever is for everyone else,  
we're off a couple secrets  
another lonely Tuesday home  
stolen kisses, anyone near?"_

 _Closing his bedroom door, he sinks back against it, letting out a shaky breath._

 _In the depths of the wall, amidst the dank, dark, and cold, a lotus blooms._

* * *

 **a/n:**

**Ren's name kanji, 蓮, means lotus (water lily).

This chapter is inspired in part by and features lyrics from the song _Bankrupt!_ by Phoenix (starting at 5:30). Give it a listen if you'd like.

Please leave a review! Let me know what you think of the ending!

Until next time!


	6. Chapter 6: Tear (with Omake)

**Chapter Six: Tear**

Ren hears something sizzling. She sits up fast, head still spinning from sleep, and rubs her eyes.

That's Tsukki in the kitchen. By himself.

 _She must still be dreaming._

She yawns, stretches, and gets up, trudging bleary-eyed into the kitchen.

"You haven't-" another yawn- "burned anything, have you?"

"Just the toast." His reply is soft, with an edge of humor.

She sidles up next to him, looks at the stove, and squints, attempting to identify the sizzling substance. "Eggs?"

"Brilliant observation, Ren."

She leans her forehead against his arm. "It's early," she complains into the sleeve of his shirt.

He sighs, shrugging her off. "Wake up already."

Ren leans against the counter next to Tsukki, watching him stare at the eggs frying in the pan. The white around the yolks steadily grows more pronounced, and-

there's a semi-sharp pressure on the top of her skull.

"Hey!"

She ducks down, tilting her head up to glare at Tsukki's offending hand.

"Awake yet?"

Ren expects his reply to be as sarcastic as his gesture of jabbing his fingers on her cranium, but it sounds genuine. _Which could mean anything. Or absolutely nothing._

"What do you think?" She struggles to hide a half annoyed, half amused smile and heads for her room.

* * *

Ten minutes later, having washed her face, thrown on her uniform, struggled into some tights, and thought too much about Tsukki, she's much more awake than she wants to be. Reemerging into the kitchen, she finds a plate of eggs, a piece of unburnt toast, and a cup of tea sitting on the counter.

She takes a moment to clasp her hands together. "Thank you for the meal," she says before digging in.

"We're out of eggs now," Tsukki announces, coming back into the living room.

 _Of course we are._ Ren peers over at him while chewing through a bite of egg, swallowing it down before replying. "Well, at least you didn't burn these."

He adjusts his headphones, giving her a sly smirk. "Thanks."

 _He needs to stop doing that._

* * *

She's opening the apartment door to head out, feeling like she's missing something, but she has her textbooks, her backpack, her aikido bag, her coat- _her lunch._ She turns mid-stride, throwing her arms out for balance, slides past Tsukki's curious gaze and over to the fridge, opening the door and _the leftover soba is gone._

"Ehh?"

Ren dashes for the cabinet with her thermos, throwing open the door only to find that _it is also missing._

"EHHHH?"

What did she do with it?

"What is it?" Tsukki asks lazily, closing the open door.

Ren feels disoriented. She'd planned to take the leftover soba as a cold lunch today, and she could pick up eggs as well as fish for a sushi dinner tonight from the store after aikido. She was going to make tonkatsu tomorrow night and nabe on Saturday, with extras for a sashimi lunch tomorrow.

Letting out a sigh, she sticks her head back in the fridge. _Last minute scrounging it is. Or she could just pick up a bento from a convenience store on the way._

"If this is about your lunch-" her head whips in his direction- "Check your bag."

Narrowing her eyes, she shrugs her right shoulder, her bag strap sliding down and she unzips it. Tucked into the corner and secured in a bag to protect her schoolwork is her thermos.

"What."

She distinctly remembers _not_ putting it there.

"I know you didn't put it there," Tsukki responds, and she realizes she spoke aloud. When she turns to look at him, he's reopening the door and slinking out, leaving her to stare at the thermos.

It feels a little like pity, but she knows that's not it. If it was pity, it would hurt, and hurting did _not_ feel warm like the fluttering in her chest.

A flash of a memory- _her hands fall away from his, his hands retreat immediately, the warmth she massaged into his hands seeps right back out-_

"We'll be late if you stare at it any longer," he calls from the hallway.

Hurriedly zipping her bag shut, she pulls her scarf up to cover her nose and follows him out of the apartment.

* * *

Ren walks to school trying not to think too much about Tsukki. Upon arriving, she heads for the lockers, Tsukki and Tadashi on her heels. Easily finding her last name, she snags her school shoes to swap for her sneakers when a piece of paper flutters out.

 _That's odd._

She quickly snags it off the floor, unfolding it to reveal a message. 死んだらどう？

 _Why don't you die?_

The cold floods in.

* * *

 _Chills skitter over her skin. Her class started a new book, and she'd finished reading it the night before. It involved a lot of new words and characters, so she'd started making a list and had gone through the first chapter in the workbook. They were going to take turns reading the next chapter aloud today._

 _She really liked that._

 _When her teacher asks for volunteers, it isn't a surprise that her hand is first in the air. She reads the first sentence without missing a beat, her voice calm and enunciating where appropriate. After finishing, she smiles, pleased that she didn't make any mistakes, and looks up._

 _There are so many eyes on her. It's unnerving- all the quick, narrow-eyed gazes, the lips pursed into thin lines, the frowns, the tension... it hangs thick in the air around her like a swarm of fog._

 _She almost wants to apologize._

 _The whispers rose into murmurs that grated on her ears, the glances grew into stares that scraped against her soul, the messages morphed into what she would learn was a variation of_ Lingchi: _death by a thousand paper cuts, each stinging more than the last._

Stop. Shut up. Die. It'd be better if you died. Why don't you die? Why don't you _die?_ Just stop it already. Give up. _Die._

 _Maybe if she'd apologized, they would've left her alone._

* * *

After Kei parts ways with Ren, Tadashi turns to him with large, inquisitive eyes. "So, about last night~"

"Tch."

Tadashi is silent for a moment. "Kei."

He looks over at his friend.

"Is she okay?"

Is Ren _okay?_

She went from absolute silence to relatively normal to blinking back tears to angry to— he decides _that_ doesn't merit more thought— he settles for, "No, she's not."

Tadashi bites his lip. "I can talk to her. We can go do something, the three of us. Something nice. Maybe just the two of you."

"Not the C-word again." Kei sighs, closing his eyes and pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Tsukki, you know as well as I do that the C-word won't help here. Save that for later."

Tadashi wasn't going to drop it. That was saying something. But thinking about that would be pushed off until later as well.

"Tsukki..." Kei looks back over at Tadashi. "What are you going to do?"

Kei knows it's a valid question, but can't help his _tch_ of annoyance.

He really dislikes not knowing.

"Hey, Tsukki," Tadashi says as the students around them head into the building, "where's Ren?"

* * *

After a hasty search down the hall, in their classroom, up to the roof, attempting to peer into the dark (and locked) aikido club room, and Tadashi convincing Yachi to check the girls' bathroom for them, Kei backtracks through the empty aisles of lockers to find Ren. She's still in front of her locker, holding a piece of paper that's been folded over and over many times.

"Aihara, that's not how you do origami."

He waits for her to answer. Waits for a sarcastic comeback, an angry retort, a smirk, _anything,_ subconsciously wondering if she's going to throw those damn eyes of hers at him again, but she doesn't seem to have heard him.

Well, maybe she did hear something, because she moves from standing hunched over to leaning her forehead against the lockers, and mumbles something.

"Ren?"

She turns and leans into him instead, her small hands clenching around the lapels of his jacket. Her murmuring continues, and after a moment, he finally catches what she's been repeating.

"I'm sorry."

Over and over and over, like a mantra, like prayer. She shakes as if she's experiencing her own personal earthquake, each breath more strained than the last as the magnitude increases.

Kei would never admit it, but just standing there and doing nothing is awfully uncomfortable. Moving closer to her, he rests his chin on top of her head and tries not to bury his nose in her strawberry scented hair. _Don't apologize._

She tenses and stops shaking, and he realizes that for some reason he can't fathom, those words came out of his mouth. But her murmuring ceases and she wraps her arms around him, crushing herself into him.

His eyebrows shoot up in surprise. He's never considered himself to be an approachable person, much less huggable. He knows that he's rigid and distant and distrusting of people, and he knows he has more reasons than most to be this way, but he remembers.

It's a bittersweet memory, but he remembers Akiteru hugging him. _Sometimes gentle, sometimes bone-squishing-_ he remembers his brother wrapping his arms around him, remembers _wanting_ to fold himself into his brother's arms, remembers how disgustingly... _pleasant_ it was to hold and be held.

His arms rise slowly from his sides, and before he's aware of it, he's crushing himself into her with the same amount of force. A breath escapes him, and he closes his eyes, exhaling slowly in... dare he say _relief?_

Kei isn't sure if his relief can be solely attributed to Ren relaxing. The ease he feels seems too great to be from just that. _When was the last time he felt this way?_

It's been a while.

He takes another breath, savoring her. _Strawberries with a hint of detergent._ Her scent calms him. Her hair, soft on his fingertips- a soothing texture. His hand rests comfortably on the curve of her hip and _h_ _e doesn't want to let her go._

The thought slips unbidden to the forefront of his mind, and-

"Tsukki! Ren!"

Tadashi's voice startles them, and Kei steps back and out of Ren's arms. The absence of her strawberry-detergent smell jars him back into reality.

He glances down at her and ends up staring as she looks up at him with her coffee eyes and a gaze he can't place. She unfolds her hands, revealing fingernail imprints and the folded piece of paper. Without dropping her eyes from his, she hastily unfolds the paper, smooths it out, and holds it up for him to see.

 _Why don't you die?_

Kei reaches for the paper, intending to pluck it out of her hands and tear it down the middle, but Ren beats him to it.

It's a soft noise that's over in an instant, but she's... smiling. No, _smirking._ She crumples the paper and saunters towards the hallway, a new spring in her step that confuses him. Peering over her shoulder, she gives him a dangerous look.

"Come on," she says, voice hiding laughter, "we'll be late if you stare at me any longer."

He knows she's echoing what he said to her earlier. He knows she wants a sarcastic reply. He knows, but those _eyes..._

"Tch."

Somehow, they aren't late.

* * *

 **a/n:**

tonkatsu: fried pork cutlet  
nabe: Japanese hotpot

Lingchi: Chinese for "death by a thousand cuts" torture method

Sorry for the late update. I am back in school now, so updates will be less frequent. I'll try and post weekly :)

Reviews are welcome! (Please let me know how I'm doing! If you like the characters! Rate Tsukki's dorkiness on a scale of 1 to 10! Ready set go!)

Special thanks to the latest season 2 episode for inspiration!

To PandaDerpper: Glad you enjoyed the song. Stay tuned for more music :) Hope you like this chapter!

To Mandalorian1207: As I am unfamiliar with K-pop, I don't know who you're referring to. Hopefully there isn't any more character overlap between K-pop Ren and my OC Ren besides their names... but who knows? We shall see.

And now, a special OMAKE featuring the amazingly wonderful Tadashi: **Intrusion**

* * *

Tadashi, concerned that Tsukki and Ren aren't back yet, sends Tsukki a quick message: _Class is about to start!_ and heads in the direction of the lockers.

They'd checked everywhere else for her, and that's where Kei had told him he was going. He expects to hear noise- them arguing, one of them scoffing, Ren laughing, Tsukki tch-ing… but he's greeted with silence. "Tsukki?" Tadashi asks hesitantly as he leaves the hallway.

He should've run into them by now if they were here, right?

"Tsukki?" He's halfway down the aisle... three quarters of the way… as he peers around the last row of lockers, he freezes.

They are _hugging._

 _Tsukki's chin is resting on Ren's head and she's burying her face in his chest and they're hugging._

It's _adorable._

He's ready to let out an unintelligible excited noise, but a look at his friend's face stops him short.

Tsukki's eyes are closed. He's not smirking. He's not smiling, but he's not frowning either. His arms are wrapped tightly around Ren, and he looks unbelievably _peaceful._

Tadashi can't help feeling that he's intruded upon something private.

He tiptoes away and back into the main hallway. He doesn't want to interrupt, but class is going to start any second now.

He opens his mouth…

"Tsukki! Ren!"


	7. Chapter 7: Safe

**Chapter 7: Safe**

Tearing up the paper is _invigorating._

The fingernail marks in her palms are almost gone now, and she's headed for the hallway, feeling both calm and energized. _Focused._

She'll have to thank Tsukki later- indirectly, of course. Shortcake was out... hmm. She looks back at him over her shoulder, knowing she can't leer like him... but a sarcastic reply is the next best thing, right?

"Come on," she teases, "we'll be late if you stare at me any longer."

Ren turns back around to hide her blush. Her thoughts keep going back to Tsukki's embrace. _His hand slung around her waist, his other hand covering the back of her neck, his fingers drifting into her hair, how inexplicably_ safe _she felt in his arms..._

"Tch."

She smiles, and they head for their classroom, miraculously not late as they take their seats. Setting her bag beside her desk, she takes out her work and tucks her math textbook in her desk. The murmur of conversation halts with the bell, and she looks up. Tadashi offers her a discreet wave, which she returns before facing back towards the front of the room.

Her gaze falls on Tsukki. He's propped his chin up with his hand, his gaze aimed at something out the window as he quietly drums his fingertips on his desk.

She imitates his posture and drums her fingers on her desk, earning a muffled 'pfft' from Tadashi. Tsukki's eyes flick to him and then to her. Offering him a lazy grin and a halfhearted salute, she turns her attention to the homeroom announcements.

Or, well, she pretends to pay attention. She's listening to the song in her head. A song that gives her purpose- and an idea that makes her eyes shine with a dangerous glint.

* * *

The teacher asks them to pull out their homework to pass in and requests they open their textbooks to continue where they left off the other day. He writes a few example problems on the board that Ren hastily copies over and solves in her notes. It's not long after she starts writing song lyrics in the margins that her teacher asks for a volunteer.

She looks up at the board, straightens her back, and extends her hand towards the ceiling.

The movement does not go unnoticed.

She feels Tsukki's eyes without even glancing in his direction. She's not curious. Not at all. Nope.

Her glance is just long enough for him to give her a lazy, vaguely intrigued blink.

The teacher, about to call on someone else, calls her name instead. "Aihara-san."

Ren is well aware that she's never been one to volunteer answers unless specifically called on. She feels the curious eyes upon her as she pushes her chair back, stands, and walks towards the blackboard.

Her steps sound loud in the silence of the classroom. And then she's in front of the board, a piece of chalk in her hand- she rolls it between her fingertips and holds it up. Without hesitation, she presses the end against the slate. _Scritch._

The sound that grates on her ears is oddly satisfying.

Taking care to write large so that the students in the back can see, she works through the equation, using a shortcut but showing the step off to the side. After neatly boxing in her answer, she sets the chalk next to an eraser with a soft _click_ and returns to her desk.

Tadashi gives her a thumbs up.

The answer is right. She knows it, and does nothing to hide her smile.

 _Don't apologize._

Ren doesn't feel apologetic in the slightest. She smooths her skirt and sits back in her chair as her teacher asks if there are any questions.

The only questions she has are about Tsukki.

Just what the hell is that look in his eyes and why the hell is it making her thoughts run wilder than ever before?

* * *

Ren sits with Tsukki and Tadashi on the roof, alternating between slurping her noodles and looking out at the sky. _Cold soba never tasted as sweet as it does today,_ she declares.

"Oh?" Tsukki smirks at her.

 _She must have spoken aloud._ Elbowing him in the side, she purposefully takes a loud slurp of her noodles before answering him. "Yep."

Tsukki, already finished with his noodles, simply drinks the broth without making much noise. The only sound being the barely audible glug of his throat.

"Ren, what're your plans for Saturday?" Tadashi asks from Tsukki's other side.

She frowns, rifling through her mental calendar. "I'm volunteering at an aikido demonstration after school," she says after a moment. "But I should be free after that. Did you have something in mind?"

Tadashi shakes his head. "Nope!" he replies lightly. "Our practice shouldn't run long, so we might come by. Where's your demo?"

"Back at Chidoriyama, actually," she answers. "Hayato-sensei asked for me. There's a student group coming by, and I'll be helping with translations too."

"Cool!" Tadashi exclaims, clapping his hands together in excitement. "I'll see if Yachi wants to come." He turns to Tsukki. "Should I invite the duo?"

"Whatever," Tsukki says, sealing his thermos and setting it on the ground next to him.

"If you can promise no giant disruptions and no destruction, the dumbass duo can come," Ren says with a straight face before finishing off her broth. Leaning back against the wall, she looks up.

The clouds are flooding in, and she can taste a hint of rain on the breeze. The song from earlier drifts into her thoughts.

 _Doubts will try to break you,  
unleash your heart and soul_  
 _trouble will surround you,_  
 _start taking some control_

Ren stands and walks over to the corner of the roof, another idea taking root in her consciousness, and throws an arm up in victory against the darkening sky.

 _She's not who she was-_ _that's not true._ The surprise of the thought flickers across her face, and she's glad they can't see it.

She's the same as she was years ago... she's just gotten really good at shoving that part of her away. _She's gotten really good at denying herself._

Her hand falls back to her side, and she stares at it. _How did it go?_

The greatest power is that which... _she gives herself_.

She looks over at her friends. Tadashi offers a smile and Tsukki gives her his signature smirk.

Ren can't help her smile. _It's because of them that she found power to give herself in the first place._

* * *

Kei adjusts his sports glasses on his nose as he takes a breather from practice. The first years still have a lot to learn. He narrows his eyes at the "dumbass duo," as Ren calls them. They still had a lot to learn, too. Especially in terms of communication skills.

A sigh escapes him. Taking a swig from his water bottle, he goes to stand with Tadashi.

"Tsukki," Tadashi says, "how are the first years doing with blocks?"

Kei looks over at them and frowns. "They need more work."

"Not everyone is as perceptive as you," his friend remarks. "When it comes to most things, anyway."

"Are there exceptions I should be aware of?" Kei asks, covering a snicker as one of the new members misses a toss.

"Tsukki." Kei looks at Tadashi, who is smirking. "Ren came in about half an hour ago," he says, trying not to laugh.

Kei narrows his eyes and scans the room for her, finally catching her next to Yachi. Yachi's pointing at something in her notebook, and Ren is smiling and talking with her.

Tadashi not-so-subtly pushes him in Ren's direction. Kei turns to glare at his friend, but Tadashi just winks. "We're done. I'll get the others to wrap up. Go on," he says, before turning around and using his captain voice. "Let's wrap up!"

Kei makes his way over to Ren and Yachi.

"Hey," Ren says upon noticing him, standing up and re-shouldering her bags. "Ready to go?"

"I need my stuff from the club room."

"Oh. Right." Turning to Yachi, she says a quick farewell and steps up next to him, adjusting one of her bag straps. "Dinner isn't going to make itself," she chides, resting a hand on her hip, but her coffee eyes are light with amusement.

"When dinner can make itself, let me know," Kei replies, heading out of the gym with Ren in tow.

* * *

Dinner, it turns out, is Ren's treat at one of the cafes they frequent. Kei would have been fine eating at home, but for whatever reason, she insisted.

Well, _insisting_ was more like her leading the way to the restaurant, pinning her coffee eyes on him with a soft smile, and saying, "my treat."

After ordering their usuals, they take the table in the far corner, Ren shrugging off her club jacket to reveal one of his old dinosaur T-shirts.

"So that's where it went," he says quietly to himself, lip quirking into a partial smile. Her habit of wearing his clothes would never cease to amuse him.

"Kei..." He looks at her, eyeing her lopsided ponytail and the steadiness of her shoulders as she speaks. "When I lived in Hiroshima..." she pauses, looking at her hands, and chooses her words carefully. "When I got around to telling my parents about all... _that,"_ she gestures at nothing in particular, "I told them that I wanted to apologize. I mean, that's what kids do, right? Apologize and move on?"

Kei stops himself from replying, knowing it was a rhetorical question.

"They told me I 'had nothing to apologize for.'" Another pause, and she rests her chin on the back of her hand. "I'd repeat that to myself, which worked for a while, but it's not the same as being told 'don't apologize' in the first place."

Ren's eyes change, the coffee turning blacker. "It still hurts," she says, "but it's not an open wound anymore. It's a scar now. And scars fade with time." She peers up at him with a small smile and pink cheeks. "So, thanks. For saying what I needed to hear."

He's stunned by her sincerity. Usually 'thanks' was used sarcastically between them, but he'd used it last night with the shortcake and here she was, returning the gesture whether she knew it or not. "Words have power," he finally replies. "It's a matter of choosing how much they mean to you."

Kei is left to wonder if her eyes light up at his words or at the arrival of their food.

* * *

After a quick shower, homework, and shortcake, Ren suggests that they watch _Interstellar._ Kei likes the movie and really likes the soundtrack, so he agrees, figuring it'll be a relaxing way to end the evening.

* * *

He did _not_ anticipate that Ren would fall asleep on him halfway through, her fingers tangled in his. Not that he minded all that much, but watching Interstellar was her idea. Now, he just had to extricate himself from the situation without disturbing her… and her strawberries were making it really damn difficult to do much of anything.

After another minute (maybe more like five), he mutters, "come on, Aihara," sliding slowly to the side and gently extracting his hand. He gets to his feet and she slumps over into the space he vacated, her head hitting the cushion with a soft plop. She lets out a sleepy moan.

 _Shit. He woke her._

Her face contorts in a frown and she cracks an eye open. She blinks up at him, coffee eyes raw with sleep. "Kei?"

 _What is with her using his first name?_ "Mm?"

"Stay." She crawls off the cushions and into her futon, pulling the comforter up to just below her eyes.

He raises an eyebrow. _She looks cute._ Damn. "It's a bit late to go anywhere," he replies, turning and heading for his bed.

"Keiiiii." It's a different look in her eyes now, but it's equally pulling. "Don't leave. Please."

He's meandering back into the living room and scooting the table out of the way, his feet carrying him to the closet. He pulls out the other futon and unfolds it next to hers, heading into his room and pulling his comforter off his bed and dragging it over to the futon.

Setting his glasses on the table, he relaxes into the futon and looks over at her slightly blurry form. He turns towards her, intending to ask her _why,_ but thinks better of it and stares up at the ceiling instead.

"You want to know why, don't you," she whispers. Not giving him time to get in an answer, she presses on. "Kei, I trust you." She takes a deep breath. "You're safe." She rolls over. "Get some sleep, Kei."

 _She trusts him? He's safe?_ He's going to have a headache tomorrow if he isn't careful. _Or even if he is careful._

"You too, Ren."

* * *

 **a/n:**

This chapter was inspired by and features lyrics from _Panic Station_ by Muse.

Special thanks to all my favorites and followers! I'm glad you're enjoying the story! Review to let me know what you think! Also to help me get to the aikido drama that's coming!

To Immatolazy: Aww, thank you! And more of this story is in the works! Stay tuned!

To Jane412: Thanks! I hope the story keeps impressing you.

To Schlimazl-Is-A-Joke: I like the story too, but it's so nice to hear from others!

Hopefully I'll have another chapter within the next week or so!


	8. Chapter 8: Trust and Stardust

**Chapter 8: Trust and Stardust**

Ren shuts off her alarm quickly and blinks herself awake, heading past a still-sleeping Tsukki to the kitchen. She's still processing that he stayed when she asked. _They slept next to each other._

Her thoughts turn into a stream of exclamation and question marks, cheeks turning pink, and she can't help her stare.

She's never seen Tsukki look so calm. The subtle but steady rise and fall of his chest, his only slightly sleep-mussed hair and _why does she want to run her fingers through it?_

Shaking off those thoughts, she quietly prepares rice to steam, thanking her past self for prepping the ingredients last night. Removing the pre-sliced beef and onions from the fridge, she puts some hon-dashi and water into a saucepan and turns the heat on high. She turns for the cabinet, carefully sliding out two bowls and setting them on the counter.

A discreet glance over her shoulder confirms that Tsukki is still asleep. Or pretending to be, anyway.

Ren slides the onions into the pan and waits for the water to boil before reducing the heat to let it simmer. After about five minutes, she adds a dollop of shoyu and a pinch of ginger, and slips the beef in, bringing the mixture to a boil before setting it to simmer again.

It'll be around ten minutes before the beef is done cooking, so she sinks to the floor beside the stove and leans her head back against the drawers, letting her eyes droop closed. _A little more rest won't hurt..._

There's a rustle of blankets and soft but rapid footfalls moving towards the kitchen. They stop next to her, and she would look up at Tsukki, but her eyelids are stuck shut and she doesn't feel like moving. She hears him sigh, and the click as he turns the heat off. A slight clatter on the stovetop and she's able to crack one eye open a sliver.

He's standing right next to her. If those are his legs, anyway. It's still early.

She blinks, finally able to open both eyes, and yes, those are Tsukki's legs. A slight shift of her head and then she can see him scooping rice into the bowls she got out, plopping generous helpings of beef and onions on top of each one.

He glances over at her and she hastily shuts her eyes again, pretending to still be snoozing.

"Tch." It's a soft, not scathing remark. He pokes his foot at her unprotected side. "Sleeping on the job, Aihara?"

"Mmm." She opens both eyes, having been caught pretending, and grabs onto his waist, pulling herself up to stand next to him. "You bet," she retorts lightly.

 _Are his cheeks pink?_ She raises herself on her tiptoes, getting closer to his face.

"Ren."

"Yeah?"

"You're obstructing breakfast."

She realizes she's directly between him and the gyudon. Her hands are lingering, and she pulls them back before her fingers are tempted to wander. Gracefully stepping to the side, she snags the bowl that looks like it has maybe just one more slice of beef on it and picks up a pair of chopsticks off the counter. "Better?"

"... Those are my chopsticks."

Ren uses the chopsticks to shovel a scoop of rice, beef, and onion into her mouth. Swallowing the tasty mass, she clears her throat and extends the chopsticks in Tsukki's direction. "Still want them?"

"They've been contaminated." He grabs another set of chopsticks and digs into his own breakfast.

"With what?" She takes another heap of her breakfast and swallows it down before continuing. "Saliva and food particles won't kill you."

Tsukki scoffs. "Germs, Aihara. Germs."

Ren finishes off her current bite of food before letting out a laugh. "Should I wash everything then? Laundry, dishes, wipe off the tables, and use air filters? Because I found this strawberry scented cleaner, and I just _had_ to get it for you. It's perfect. Right?"

He's put his hand to his forehead, appearing to gently massage his temples.

Spurred on by his lack of response, she continues, "don't worry about your chopsticks. I'll be sure to sanitize them properly, with ultraviolet radiation treatment and disinfectant. You won't die the next time you use them... probably."

"That's very reassuring, thank you."

* * *

After another rather uncharacteristic but fun morning answering questions, Ren eats lunch with Tsukki and Tadashi in the classroom.

"Who are you and what have you done with Ren?" Tadashi asks, pulling his chair up to Tsukki's desk.

Ren grins, raising her hand mockingly to answer the question. "I _am_ Ren, thanks for noticing. Stay tuned for more wisecracks."

"Sure." Tsukki rolls his eyes, but his gaze is drawn to the door. "Incoming."

Glancing over her shoulder, Ren notes the appearance of Yachi, Hinata, and Kageyama. She leans back in her chair and waves them over.

"Tadashi invited us," Yachi says, taking a seat at his desk.

"Where am I supposed to sit?" Hinata asks, peering around.

"Find an empty chair, dumbass Hinata," Kageyama replies, pulling over an empty seat and sitting down.

While Hinata goes in search of a chair, Ren figures that now isn't a bad time to ask... "Hey, Yachi?"

"Yes, Ren?"

"I was wondering if you knew where to buy good paint?"

"Hmm... the only really close store is Daiso, but they should have what you need. I've gotten art supplies from them before."

Ren makes a mental note and saves the word _Daiso_ in a note on her phone. "Thanks!"

At this point, Hinata has located a chair and plopped it between Kageyama and Yachi. Yachi turns to Tadashi. "What was it you wanted to ask us?"

Tadashi clears his throat. "Ren is volunteering at an aikido demonstration at Chidoriyama after school on Saturday. Are you guys interested in going?"

"UOooooh!" Hinata says excitedly, and Ren stifles a laugh.

"It'll be after practice," Tadashi singsongs.

"So I get to spike and watch Ren do aikido! This is so- gwah!"

Hinata is not the least bit deterred. "So you're all coming, then," she responds easily.

They all look at her. She sighs, pointing at Tsukki and Tadashi. "These two already agreed, and-" she gestures at Hinata- "where this one goes, these two-" waving vaguely at Kageyama and Yachi- "follow." She pauses, a slight smirk on her face, and continues. "Also, class is about to start up again. Isn't it?"

Yachi's "eep!" confirms it, and the trio say a hasty thanks and dart for their classroom.

"Aihara?"

 _That's Tsukki._ "Yeah?"

"Are you usually such a smartass?"

She scoffs. "Coming from you, that's so funny it doesn't even merit a laugh."

He raises an eyebrow.

"Okay, fine. Ha."

Tadashi snorts. "Ren, that's Tsukki's way of complimenting both your brains and physique."

Ren doesn't understand why her mind is racing with incomplete splutterings of thoughts. _But she's- there's no way- maybe- well, it's probably-_ She doesn't realize she doesn't respond, and is oblivious to the deepening red of the tips of Tsukki's ears.

* * *

After giving his best friend his middle finger and the loudest tch of annoyance he's ever given, and spiking some insane hits during practice, Kei finally makes it back to the apartment.

"I'm home," he calls out tiredly, and slips off his shoes before noticing something strange.

Ren's bedroom door is... open.

 _Did someone bust in again? Is anything missing?_

 _Is Ren okay?_

He rushes for her room and is utterly surprised.

Everything is fine.

The window is fixed, sunlight streaming in, the towels and plastic bag have been cleared away, and Ren is at her desk- no.

Kei retracts his previous statement. Things are mostly fine.

What's not fine is that Ren is standing- no, _dancing_ on top of her desk, earbuds in and lips mouthing lyrics to some song he'd probably like. Her eyes are closed and her hair is down, arms moving to an invisible rhythm. She's wearing tights, a skirt, and _is that another one of his sweaters?_

And what if she falls? These lines of thinking were not good. Not good at all.

If trouble was simultaneously dangerous and breathtaking, her name was Ren.

He doesn't know how long he's been standing in the doorway watching her before she sees him. Maybe it's been a few seconds. Five minutes. But now she's looking straight at him with her wide coffee eyes and her cheeks are red. Very red.

"Do you have a fever?"

It isn't the best thing he could've said, but he manages to say it calmly so that's a relief. She's still frozen on top of her desk, but she manages a reply. "No."

"Are you sure?"

"Yep. I should be 37. Or very close to it."

Kei walks in Ren's direction, in the direction of the disgusting message, further into the realm of trouble, and comes to a halt. He takes a good look at the wall behind her, ignoring the glaring black characters in favor of the now visible sketch lines. It looks like the beginnings of a fire, a barely outlined and indistinct cloud of smoke, and something resembling a bird. He glances back towards the door, seeing a detailed sketch of a phoenix taped to the side of her bookcase. She was probably using it as a reference.

"Is this why you asked about paint?" He turns to look at her and has to look up because she's still standing on her desk.

Kei isn't used to looking _up_ at people, but decides that just this once, he doesn't mind.

She nods. "I have to do this," she states, her voice clear and steady. She's working to overcome her guilt about her brilliance, and he's... _proud_ of her, just a little bit.

But what's this other feeling?

"How soon do you want to eat?" Ren asks him, leaping off her desk- _what is she doing-_ and landing on her bed without injuring herself. "I can start on the tonkatsu now if you want."

He raises an eyebrow in surprise. "Weren't you..." he was going to ask if she was working, but when he came in she was dancing.

"I was what?"

He switches over to his smirk. "How soon will the tonkatsu be ready?"

"Before you can say I'm a smartass again."

Kei heads out of her room without another word, hoping Ren isn't aware of how damn accurate Tadashi's interpretation had been.

* * *

After dinner and homework, he determines that the 'other feeling' from earlier was a blend of amusement, intimidation, and a few other emotions he doesn't feel like identifying. The way she was confronting herself was... interesting. It's like... she's reestablishing a connection with herself that had faded out.

There's a sting of guilt, followed by a self-affirmation of reasons to not feel guilty.

 _Akiteru_ _lied. His brother lied._ Certainly that was good enough reason to not trust anything that came out of anyone's mouth, with the exception of Tadashi.

Now the exceptions list was longer. The team was on the list. Tadashi was at the top, and then there was the problem of where Ren fell. She was on the exception list against his better judgment, considering that she just had to say she trusted him last night without having any idea how much her words meant, and he didn't think he would be... _interested_ in her if he didn't think he could trust her.

Damn. Well, it was easier to admit his interest because Tadashi already knew. No, that was a lie.

The sting of guilt is back with a vengeance, and he feels like a hypocrite, not talking to his lying brother for so long when he can't even be truthful to himself.

Trusting in his sarcasm and smarts could only get him so far, Kei finally supposes, meandering out of his room and past Ren, sliding on his shoes and ducking out into the hallway.

"Kei?"

He hears her voice as he's about to shut the door and pauses, hand still on the knob.

"Are you coming or not, Ren?"

Her fumbling noises bring a small smile to his face, and suddenly she's there, her jacket thrown on and feet not quite all the way in her shoes, and he wants to laugh but doesn't.

"Where are we going?"

So she's opted to not complain about the cold. "You'll see."

* * *

After fixing her shoes and locking the door, Ren walks slightly in front of him, singing something softly, but it catches his attention.

Kei pokes her shoulder.

"Hmm?" she stops her humming to give him a curious look.

"What are you humming?"

It's more of a statement than a question, but Ren laughs regardless. "I'll sing when we get-" she pauses to wave her arms haphazardly in front of her- "wherever we're going. Which is the park, right?"

She's not wrong. "Take the next left."

"I know how to get there," she replies, rolling her eyes, but shifting back to let him lead the way.

He directs them to one of the grassy hills and sits down, peering up at the stars. Ren sits down next to him and starts to sing, as promised.

 _"Shooting for the stars,  
_ _desperately reaching  
for something in the dark,  
_ _pictures of memories  
buried in my heart,  
_ _lie awake and dream of  
the endless possibilities,  
catch my breath and go for it  
take apart everything that's holding me down  
make a point to pick a new direction,  
to make a new connection_

 _Is this what it feels like  
finding out that I've got the guts to say anything  
feels like breaking out,  
when I can give up my reputation-  
Finally, I can see  
honestly, I've got the guts to say anything."_

She stops singing and stares at him wide eyed. "You're staring."

"So are you."

Ren breaks eye contact to gaze up at the stars instead. After a minute, she starts waving one of her fingers around. She glances over at him and shrugs. "Don't mind me. I'm just drawing fake constellations. Like a potato." She points at the sky. "That cluster over there is a tea kettle. Oh!" She points over in the opposite direction. "I spy..." She grins. "A T-rex eating a strawberry."

A genuine laugh bursts forth from him, surprising them both. "I don't think so."

"But it's right there!" She protests, further emphasizing the direction she's pointing in.

Kei smirks, pointing behind her. "Tempura soba."

She narrows her eyes. "I don't think so."

"But it's right there!"

"... I'm still not laughing."

* * *

It's late, and Ren's lyrics are stuck in his head. _Guts to say anything,_ huh?

He slips into his room, quietly shutting the door behind him, and stares at his phone. Akiteru wouldn't answer, would he?

He sighs and presses call.

 _What the hell._ If Ren could do it, so could he.

Three rings in, that makes four-

"Hello?"

It's strange, hearing his brother's voice.

"Kei?"

"... Yeah."

* * *

 **a/n:**

hon-dashi: soup stock powder  
gyudon: beef bowl, usually rice topped with thinly sliced beef and onions, common quick meal

Daiso is the name of an art store chain in Japan! However, I'm not sure if they carry acrylic paints, which is what Ren intends to purchase. If you're aware of a better alternative, please let me know.

37 degrees C = 98.6 degrees F: considered to be normal body temperature.

This chapter features lyrics from the song _Guts_ by All Time Low.

Thank you all for the favorites and follows! This update has been long overdue. *sighs* Scholarship apps and homework have been keeping me busy, but I'll try and have another update up in the next week or so- no promises. Stay tuned for aikido and nonsense next chapter!

To KenzieFF: I'm glad you think I'm doing well portraying Tsukki and Tadashi! Hopefully I can continue to impress :)

To Cafe nina: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm glad you find Ren realistic (I'm working hard on that, haha). I'm happy that you find Tsukki tangible because that's a _huge_ part of my story! Sure, he's seen as grumpy a lot, but he's human. He has other emotions. And that's a huge part of him that I (as the author) and you (as the reader) have the privilege of exploring.

To YouDaBest: I'm glad you like the story! I haven't been specifically trying to avoid the "getting to know each other stuff," per se, and I feel that Kei and Ren are observant enough to infer a lot about each other- though, they're semi-oblivious to their interest in each other. We'll see how much longer that keeps up. ;)


	9. Chapter 9: Tenacity (with Omake)

**a/n: HELLO I have returned from hell**

This has been in the works for _weeks upon weeks_ because I've been busy with college (scholarship apps, midterms, homework, applying for study abroad, and now it's almost time for finals...)! It's been on the back burner but (hopefully) not for much longer!

Also, a POV note: in order to stay chronological, the POV switches are integrated differently in this chapter. It should hopefully be clear whose POV it is, but I will illustrate it here based on each line break: Ren/Ren/Kei/Ren/Ren/Kei/Ren/Kei/Kei

This is a special case for this chapter, and I plan to revert to my previous style after this chapter, but please let me know if you like this POV integration!

Without further ado, an extra-long chapter with a short omake. Please forgive the lateness, and I hope you all enjoy!

 **Chapter 9: Tenacity**

Ren has no idea how she was able to sleep. She's woken up a few minutes before her alarm again and ducks into her room, door hinges silent. She's glad she made them stop squeaking yesterday after the window got fixed. Splashing some water on her face, she pulls her hair back and, after hesitating a moment, goes ahead and brushes her teeth.

Consulting her mental menu, she heads for the kitchen to make some toast for breakfast and prepares some coffee. Dinner was nabe, and since she was going to be out, it would be better to prep the ingredients now. While her coffee brews, she peels and slices the carrots, sliding the pieces into a container and sticking it back in the fridge. Next is the daikon, then mushroom slices, then negi.

After flipping the toast, she cuts the heat and ducks into her room, shrugging out of her pajamas and folding them on her bed. Locating her clean uniform, she throws it on, and then heads in search of her coffee.

Ren could have sworn she left just one mug on the counter. There are now two. She glances at Tsukki's bedroom door.

It's cracked open.

She lets out a sigh before smiling. Pouring coffee into the mugs, she adds a few dollops of milk and a small spoonful of sugar to each of them. Stirring with one hand, she slides the toast off the pan and onto plates with the other. Quickly rinsing the coffee spoon off in the sink, she snags the strawberry jam out of the fridge and lathers it on Tsukki's toast. Adding a thinner layer to her own, she brings the plates to the table and makes a return trip for the drinks.

"Breakfast is up!" she calls, sipping her coffee.

"Morning," comes Tsukki's reply. He reemerges from his room, heading straight for the table and grabs the coffee first.

 _Interesting._ He usually always goes for the toast first.

Ren opts not to say anything and crunches through her toast. After hastily downing her coffee, she drops her plate off at the sink and heads back into her room. She unzips her aikido bag. _Hakama?_ Check. _Keikogi?_ Check. _Aikido club jacket?_ Hanging on the back of her desk chair. Check. Making a quick stop in front of her closet, she snags a pale blue V-neck sweater, shrugs it on over her blouse, and slides on her jacket.

A scarf and one messy hair bun later, she snags a pair of socks and rechecks her aikido gear.

"If you'd forgotten anything, you would've noticed by now," Tsukki calls from the doorway.

She rolls her eyes as she zips her bag shut. "Oh, _thank you,_ " she says, slinging it over her shoulder and snatching her earbuds off her desk. Stuffing them in, she strides past him and out the door.

* * *

They meet up with Tadashi after ducking into a convenience store to buy lunch.

"How excited are you?" Tadashi asks with a grin. "On a scale of one to ten."

"Fifteen." Her answer is quick, decisive.

Tadashi whistles. "Okaaaaaaaay,"

"Aihara."

Almost but not quite unwillingly, she turns to look at Tsukki.

"Don't mess up until we get there."

"Tsukki!" Tadashi chastises, but she barely hears it.

There Kei goes with his damn smirk again, sending her butterflies into overdrive. At least her brain is still functioning. "Oh?" she manages, narrowing her eyes in his direction.

"She can manage until then, right?"

Ren feels like she should be angry, but Kei's tone isn't all that mocking. She knows she's good at aikido. _Very_ good. And her English is better than most of her class. Will she mess up?

Highly unlikely.

"Kei."

Her abrupt mention of his name brings Kei and Tadashi's side conversation to a halt. He looks over, a mix of amused and disinterested.

"If I do mess up-" she pauses to roll her eyes at his smirk- "and I'm not saying I will, but..." She faces forward again, lazily tossing a hand into the air. "At least I'll look good."

Glancing back over her shoulder, she sees him raise an eyebrow.

"Did you already forget that I'm going to be in uniform?"

"Not after how you quadruple-checked this morning to make sure you had it."

Ren sighs. "So you're just coming to see me mess up?"

"Why else would I go?"

"Are you _sure_ don't want to see me in uniform?"

He doesn't reply. Just blinks and nods slightly. _Hmm._ Instead of a flippant retort, she tries something different: she pouts.

Kei's expression twitches for a moment but he retains the same, unwavering stare.

"Well, I'm sure you'll be disappointed because I _won't_ mess up. And, cause me in uniform seems to be such an eyesore, just imagine I'm not wearing it."

He abruptly looks away as Tadashi bursts into muffled laughter.

 _"Just imagine I'm not wearing it."_

 _OH._

Despite her reddening cheeks, she snags the last word. "If your minds are in the gutter from that, I don't know what to tell you. I'll see you in class," she says, taking off for the school building.

 _Well, that was embarrassing._

* * *

Only after Ren is out of sight can Kei push up his glasses and take a moment to collect his thoughts from... wherever they'd been going.

"Tsukki, are you okay?"

Kei can see his best friend's blinding grin through his fingers.

"Is that even a question?"

"Tsukki, is she acting like… this-" Tadashi waves in Ren's general direction- "on purpose?"

"No," he answers quickly. _She can't be._ "Tadashi-"

"Tsukki, I still think you should try talking to her-"

"Yamaguchi."

"… Sorry Tsukki."

* * *

In class, Ren can't sit still. She's throwing her hand up every time a teacher asks a question and she's reminded of first year Hermione, eager to answer anything she knows the answer to.

Tsukki, however, is snarkier than usual. Third year Hermione might punch him, but she isn't Hermione.

"Aihara, answering all the questions in class doesn't make time go faster."

"I know damn well it doesn't, but that won't stop me from trying."

* * *

The final bell rings, and Ren is up and out of her chair. She bows to her teacher, waves haphazardly at Tsukki and Tadashi, and leaves for Chidoriyama. Hastily swapping her school slippers for her sneakers, she takes off running.

Her nervous energy has been increasing all day and she lets it loose in a huge burst, sprinting up side streets on the quickest route from Karasuno to her old school. Her bags thump against her sides in tandem, and in the midst of exertion, she smiles.

 _Take that,_ she thinks, and then she's skidding to a halt in front of Chidoriyama. Taking a few deep breaths to attempt to calm her racing pulse, she straightens her uniform and heads for the gym.

As expected, Hayato-sensei is directing aikido club students to set up mats and chairs. After a quick exchange of pleasantries, Ren ducks into the locker room. A locker with a note taped to it is designated as hers, and she strips off her slightly sweaty school uniform. She unzips her duffel, staring at her keikogi and hakama for a moment before putting them on. She carefully folds and ties her obi, brushes her hair and reties her ponytail. Yanking her gaze away from her reflection in the mirror, she slides on some slippers and makes her way back to the gym.

* * *

Kei wants to slide on his headphones to block out the conversation and all the questions he's been getting about Ren.

Hinata isn't excessively excited- not the way he is about volleyball, but his bubbly behavior is mildly annoying. "What makes aikido different from other martial arts?"

Tadashi spares him from answering that one. "Well, in karate, attacks are strike-based, focusing on using the hands and feet, right? In judo, attacks are centered on grappling and throwing. Aikido is like judo in the grappling respect... but the philosophy revolves around being considerate of the self and the opponent."

His best friend looks to him for confirmation, and Kei sighs. "I guess. I'd just ask Ren for an explanation later."

"Yeah, Ren would be able to explain it better," Tadashi says thoughtfully.

"Tsukki?" Yachi asks hesitantly. "Do you know how long Ren has been doing aikido?"

It's easy to be civil with Yachi. "She started in middle school, I believe. Five years, maybe five and a half by now."

"She wasn't in an art club?"

Kei has to think for a moment. "No." Not that he's aware, anyway.

Yachi turns back to Kageyama and Hinata. "Ren's so talented," she comments cheerfully. "Her animal sketches are super detailed. She's helped me with some of the club posters."

That would explain the detailed phoenix sketch from the other day. The posters have been featuring bird and feather designs, as of late.

And just like that, Kei's back to thinking about Ren. He knows why Tadashi's suggesting he talk to her, but that's not a good idea for several reasons:

1\. It means thinking about his feelings and how long they've been floating around (something he'd rather avoid).  
2\. It means admitting out loud, to her, that he has feelings (for her) (a sarcastic response is inevitable).  
3\. It means further disrupting her already-thrown-off emotional equilibrium (if he _dares_ to hope that there's a future for them, her decision should be made in a state of clarity).

"Tsukki?" Kei turns to look at Tadashi with a raised eyebrow. "We're here."

* * *

The demonstration starts out relatively standard- hushing the student group, introductions of demonstration leaders (Hayato-sensei, her as Aihara-san, and one of the current top students in the club, Yamamoto-san), and an explanation of aikido and its basic maneuvers. This is the easy part.

Then comes narrating the demonstration itself, and she's nervous. But only a little bit. Her translations have been understood so far, and she's found a good speaking pace.

"It takes knowledge of the body," Ren translates, "and concentration. The size and weight of your opponent becomes irrelevant once you can manipulate their body. For example..." she waits for Hayato-sensei to demonstrate a maneuver. "Once you control the wrist, you control the arm, and then the shoulder. And then the body."

Hayato-sensei forces Yamamoto-san to the mat, her hands gripping his arm in what appears to be an uncomfortable position. Yamamoto-san slaps the mat with his free hand, indicating surrender, and they move into the next situation.

"If you can trap the arm behind the back," she continues, "you can direct their momentum." Hayato-sensei walks Yamamoto-san around a little bit, drawing a few laughs before laying him onto the mats.

"The torso is a bit more complicated to manipulate, but as you can see-" she pauses to let Hayato-sensei finish her maneuver- "by getting one arm across the collarbones, you can push your opponent to the floor with their own momentum."

Her translating continues without mistake, and she's glad for the small break she gets when Yamamoto-san takes over translating. As she walks onto the mats to replace him, she hears an unmistakable "gwah" and a telltale "be quiet, dumbass" from the entrance. And then she's stuck staring at Kei, getting butterflies from a very different source.

* * *

As soon as they make it through the doors of the gymnasium, Kei sees her. She's impossible to miss, walking onto the mats in a white gi and black hakama.

She's _striking._

Her presence draws attention without demanding it. She comes to a halt in the middle of the mat beside a woman and bows again towards the audience.

"Aihara-san will be taking my place for a short while," the student with the microphone says, drawing a few laughs from the audience.

"What did we miss?" Tadashi asks, his voice barely a whisper.

Kei just shrugs.

The woman speaks quickly in Japanese towards Ren and the other student, and Kei can see her eyes widen.

"Ah excuse me," the student says, "Hayato-sensei is opening the floor to a few volunteers."

A blur of orange that is most definitely Hinata runs up to Ren, beaming excitedly. "Hi, Ren-san!"

Ren laughs and turns to have a quick word with Hayato-sensei. "Everyone, can you hear me alright?" She asks the audience. "This is Hinata-san, also from my high school. He's graciously volunteered himself to play the part of "attacking" me."

"Eh?" Hinata looks surprised. "But you're my friend!"

Kei rolls his eyes. Yachi is already peeking through her fingers. Tadashi urges their entire group closer to the rows of chairs.

Ren says something- another quick aside, and Hinata bursts into motion, reaching for Ren's arm. Then she's also a blur, sidestepping and grabbing Hinata's wrist and dropping him to the floor.

Yachi's "eep" is joined by gasps of the seated students.

"EH?" Hinata says loudly from the mats.

"It was probably a bit fast for you to see," Ren says to the audience, "but it was a matter of executing one of the basic maneuvers: grabbing the wrist and pressing down on the back, trapping the arm and then the rest of the body."

"THAT WAS SO- GWAH! Again!" Hinata exclaims, drawing laughter and applause from the audience.

Ren says something else quietly to Hinata, who runs off the stage and back to their spot behind the seated audience.

"Would any of Ren-san's friends also like to volunteer?" The student with the microphone asks.

Kei looks over at Yachi, who's peering over Kageyama's shoulder and shaking her head. There's pressure on his elbow, and Tadashi's pulling him up to the mat with him. "We will!" He answers for them cheerfully.

He did _not_ agree to this. Judging from her wide-eyed expression, Ren wasn't expecting this either.

Tadashi's grip on his elbow is gentle but insistent. Reluctantly, Kei gives into his friend's scheme.

"Yamaguchi-san," Ren says, "if you would face our audience and grab my forearm with both hands, please."

As Tadashi gets into position, Ren looks over at the student with the microphone.

"The floor is yours, Aihara-san," he says.

"Thank you, Yamamoto-san." Ren brings her forearm, with Tadashi's hands gripping it rather tightly, closer to the audience. "While Yamaguchi-san has his strength focused here-" she points to her forearm- "I can control his strength."

Ren adjusts the angle of her forearm, bringing it up to point more towards the ceiling. With Tadashi gripping on her arm, he's forced closer to the ground, and as he's bending backward, Ren shoves him away from her.

Tadashi stumbles backward, surprised. He smiles, takes a small bow, and heads back off the mats.

"If you can control the point or direction from which the energy is expended," Ren says, "you can control the situation. Tsukishima-san, if you would."

The way the formality sounds coming from her strange, but he has no time to consider it as he steps up onto the mats.

"Your job is to hold on," she says quietly, moving so he's facing the audience from behind her.

Kei is staring at her forearm (the imprints of Tadashi's hands are still faintly visible, and his gut twists a little) and barely registers her request. He steps forward, hands extending towards her arm and then he's trying to not think about how soft her skin is and then, in the next instant, gravity rearranges itself.

His back makes contact with the mat as he's forced into a loose somersault. The impact is jolting but not painful- it leaves him dazed for a moment. _Strong_ isn't an adequate word to describe her- _tenacious_ is a far better descriptor.

Applause fills the room which Ren attempts to quiet. Kei looks up at her sheepish expression- it's one that features the quirk of a smile. It brings a momentary smile to his face that turns into a smirk- _h_ _e'll get back at her later._

He gets to his feet, bows deeply, and heads off the mats, rejoining the rest of the team at the back.

Kageyama and Hinata are doing a surprisingly good job of stifling their amusement. Tadashi grins and pretends to be tactless. "She flipped you like it was nothing."

A "pah" escapes from Hinata, and Kei glares at him. "You would have somersaulted twice if she did it to you," he says nonchalantly, but he's back to looking at Ren.

It's gotten increasingly difficult to _not_ look at her.

* * *

Kei isn't sure why he agreed to have everyone over for dinner. Maybe it was to shut up the dumbass duo who like Ren's cooking. Maybe it was the way Yachi's eyes lit up at Ren's suggestion. It had nothing to do with Tadashi's ridiculous grin and winking when no one else was looking. (It certainly had nothing to do with Ren biting her lip and saying "please." Definitely not.)

Ren and Yachi had kicked all the guys (including him, even though it is also his apartment) out of the kitchen while they finished preparing the nabe ingredients and brought them to the table with the portable stove. Dinner was loud but not terribly messy, and on the whole, rather pleasant- he just wouldn't admit that while they were all still there.

He and Ren managed to get them all to leave not too long after dinner. "Sorry for springing them on you," she says, putting away the leftovers. "Nabe's always better with friends, I think."

Kei lets out a sigh. "It's okay."

She gasps in mock surprise, but quickly drops her sarcasm. "Really, Kei," she says, "thank you for today."

"You're welcome?" He isn't sure how different it was from usual, but as long as she's feeling better, it's okay with him.

Ren sets the last of the dishes in the drying rack, letting out an audible yawn. "I'm gonna shower and go to bed. Did you need anything?" she asks, stretching her arms up.

His eyes are drawn to the thin sliver of skin that's momentarily visible. "No," he says, turning and heading towards his room. (What he needs is for her to not be so damn attractive all the time.)

"Goodnight," she says, ducking into her room and closing the door.

"Night," Kei says into the silence she left behind.

* * *

 **a/n:**

daikon: white radish  
negi: leeks

hakama: bottom half of aikido uniform, must be folded a specific way  
keikogi: top half of aikido uniform, very similar to karate uniform top but has shorter sleeves  
obi: word for belt (different styles for martial arts and kimono/yukata)  
gi: general term for martial arts outfit top

*Additional note about this chapter: I don't know exactly how martial arts demonstrations work. Volunteers probably wouldn't be used in this manner, but for the sake of Ren, Tsukki, the rest of the Karasuno crew, and character development, this is the way I've written it.

This chapter was inspired in part by the song _Spotlight_ by Leagues.

Thanks again for all the follows, favorites, and reviews! Feedback and support are always greatly appreciated!

To Kenzie FF: Thank you so much for your kind words! I'm so pleased that you've caught onto Ren's quirks, and figuring out Kei's thought process has been both challenging and fun. I'm very glad you think I'm portraying him well, and I hope I can continue to impress!

To YouDaBest: Kei's character has been largely determined by Furudate, and creating someone who compliments him in personality has been quite interesting. School has been ridiculously busy, so thank you for your support~

To Kosa Kinoshita: Thank you! I believe Daiso doesn't have an equivalent in America (as far as I'm currently aware). The dollar stores here are most similar (at least in prices and some actual merchandise content) to the 100 yen stores in Japan.

To Marcy911: Thank you!

To Akabane Kayo: The teasing between Tsukki and Ren is somewhat reminiscent of friends' teasing (jokes, height references, unintended innuendos, etc.). I'm glad you think they're cute together! I do too! Now to get them together… I'm working on it. Albeit sporadically.

* * *

Omake: **Dinner Conversation** (short, sorry!)

"Can you teach me how to throw someone?" Hinata asks Ren.

"Uh... that's probably not a good idea," she replies. "It would be best to learn from an actual aikido instructor."

"But I want to toss Tsukishima like you did!"

"Not happening," Kei says lazily.

"He said if you did that to me, I would have flipped twice!"

Ren laughs, her expression turning serious. "Yes. It's highly possible that gravity would have reversed its effects on you and you would've been thrown far away."

Tadashi can't help his snort. Hinata's wide-eyed, awed and fearful expression sends him into laughter. "I'm sorry," he wheezes, steadying himself on Yachi's shoulder. "Oh! By the way, Ren, what the heck did you tell Hinata to get him to attack you?"

She smirks. "Easy. I told him that there was a very important volleyball match happening and that we were very, very late."


	10. Chapter 10: Catharsis

**a/n:** Recommended listening for this chapter: _Punching in a Dream_ by The Naked and Famous and _First_ by Cold War Kids

This chapter has been almost done for the past two months, so I wrapped it up.

Warning: it can't all be fluff, guys. Pardon the angst (stay tuned for the fluff).

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Catharsis**

 _The sunlight streams in through the window. Ren is reading at her desk during the lunch break. But something isn't right- where did the background noise go? The conversations and the like that she'd tuned out in favor of the words on the page? She looks up._

 _The classroom is empty. Silent, save for the message written in chalk on the blackboard: two characters that ruined her childhood. Die._

 _She's upset. It's the angry kind of upset that she almost never is. Leaving her book on her desk, she stalks for the board, hands balled into fists and she swings, knuckles coming away bloody with a smattering of white dust._

 _Again._

 _Flesh meets slate and there's a crack as the slate fractures._ _Again._

Crack. _Again._

 _Slate fragments fall to the floor and she's looking at drywall, her knuckles a mess of yellow-green bruises, blood, and chalk. It feels good for a split second and then she feels the eyes on her._

 _Slowly, she turns her head to the side and there they are in her periphery. Her classmates. Her friends._

 _"What are you doing, Ren?"_

 _There's something off about Tadashi's voice and it's chilling._

 _"I was angry, alright?" she explains. "I just needed to get rid of it." She gestures in the direction of the board._

 _"Get rid of what?"_

 _Yachi peers out from behind Tadashi, her mouth hidden behind her hand. Her eyes appear concerned, but is she..._ smiling?

 _Ren turns back to the board and all traces of the_ die _are gone. It's bloodied, broken slate and they think she's making it up._

 _Oh no._

 _"Someone wrote something... not nice on the board. Aimed at me."_

 _"Dumbass?"_

 _That's Kageyama. This time the word bites._

 _She's_ not _dumb. "No." She's still upset, less at the message and more at how her friends aren't taking her seriously._

 _"How not nice was it?" A flash of orange, mocking tone and a very uncharacteristic sneer are setting off alarms. She takes a step back, but bumps into someone._

 _Ohhh no._

 _Tsukki looks down at her, his gaze scrutinizing. His smirk is void of any lighthearted teasing. "Did someone by chance-" he pauses to leer at her- "tell you to die?"_

 _She swallows, attempting to find words to respond, to ask if they're deliberately misunderstanding her, and then... they're_ laughing _._

 _Laughing like her misfortunes are nothing and her feelings unfounded._

 _The pain from punching the blackboard is no longer skin deep- with their laughter it's descending into her veins, into her bones- it's constricting her ribcage around her lungs. But the hurting isn't waking her up, making her want to act- no. It's making her afraid._

 _It's a familiar fear. She's afraid of being alone... if she's by herself, it's no longer them telling her to die._

 _It's_ her.

* * *

Ren doesn't know if her tears started while she was asleep or after she woke up. Her room is a blurry mess, and she pulls her pillow into her arms as she shakes, silent in the darkness.

 _It wasn't fair. Her friends would never say those things to her. They wouldn't._ She knows they wouldn't, so why was her subconscious tormenting her?

Shuddering, she pulls her pillow tighter against her and shuts out the thoughts.

Well, she tries. As much as she wants to, she can't erase the doubt. As baseless as it is, it hurts the same.

The loneliness isn't a pang- it's a slow motion collision and she sees it coming and lets it approach, doing nothing to stop it. It slams into her but it's almost painless, the way she thinks crying will help her heal, and maybe she does feel a little better.

It's not enough. She's off, floating in the open ocean of emotions that she doesn't want. _Where is land? Where is her gravity?_

She sits up, relinquishing her pillow and snags a tissue, blowing her nose and hating the loud noise she makes. It's a dead giveaway that she's upset and she needs to calm down. _But how?_

A cup of tea sounds good. Really good, actually.

After wiping her tears and taking a few deep breaths, she slowly opens the door to her room and heads into the kitchen. Flipping on the small overhead oven light, she runs some water into the hot water pot and turns it on, pulling out the green tea leaves and a mug. The tiny strainer is next, and she measures out a small portion of tea leaves into it.

The water is getting close to boiling, so Ren cuts the heat and pours the hot water over the tea leaves and lets it steep. A sigh escapes her. She tosses the steeped leaves probably a bit too early but doesn't care. Picking up the mug, she flinches- _hot!_

It falls, clinking against the edge of the countertop, tea spilling out and she's frozen as the mug crashes into the hardwood floor.

 _Crack._

Her resolve is splintering like the slate from her dream. She bites her lip so it won't tremble and winces, tasting blood because she bit too hard.

There's a loud bang and she looks up, cringing, vision blurred by the onset of tears, but yep, that's Tsukki staring at her.

Ren brings her arm up over her eyes, pretending that will block her from his line of sight. "I'll c-clean it up. I- I just... wanted some tea."

There's no noise, no movement, so she peeks back out, and he's still there. _Please go away._ She throws out her hands in his direction. "Don't look at me."

His footsteps head towards her, and then he's there, too close for comfort but her limbs won't move. He swipes a kitchen towel, drops it over the puddle of tea sprinkled with porcelain fragments, and then _her feet are no longer touching hardwood where did the floor go._

Tsukki is _carrying_ her. Out of the kitchen, through the living room, and into his room. He sits down on his bed with her still in his arms and slowly lets her go. Daring to look at him, she glances to her right.

He's not looking at her. As though he can feel her gaze, he runs a hand through her hair, saying quietly, "I won't look."

Reassured, she turns her head to rest on his shoulder and cries.

* * *

Kei's almost asleep when he hears the clatter. He's out of bed and throwing open his door, wide awake in a matter of moments.

He sees her. She's staring at something on the ground and then she looks up at him.

She's biting her lip, and the look in her eyes scares him. _Hollow._ A feeling he's had experience with, but on her it's physically painful to witness.

Hiding her eyes behind her arm, she opens her mouth to speak. "I'll c-clean it up," she stutters.

 _She's been crying._

 _Who the hell hurt her this time?_

"I- I just... wanted some tea." Her voice trails off.

Kei has no idea how to comfort her. She's not Tadashi. She's not the team. She's... she's _Ren._ She's brilliant, kind, perceptive, amusing- and she's hurting.

Ren drops her arm, and finding that he hasn't moved, looks away and throws up her hands. "Don't look at me," she pleads quietly.

 _Ignore her?_

He can't do that on purpose, not now. Not after she tied his gut in a knot with just her eyes. Not after everything she's done for him. He still remembers tripping over her the night she made him soup. She'd fallen asleep against the door- on purpose, he was sure- so she didn't miss him coming back.

She never fails to let him know she cares. _How should he go about helping her?_

Kei heads in her direction. Upon seeing the splatter of tea and porcelain, he snags a dish towel and places it over the crash site. The mess can be cleaned up in the morning. Bending down, he braces an arm against the back of her knees and the other behind her shoulders. Then he scoops her off the floor.

He carries her into his room and sits down on his bed, sliding back against the headboard before carefully releasing her. She's looped her arms around his neck and her knees are very close to his chin.

After a moment, she tenses, and he looks away as she raises her head a little. _Is she waiting for him to say something? Should he say something?_

 _He should probably say_ something.

Taking a second, Kei recalls that she asked him to not look at her. His hand drifts into her hair and gently slides through it, a gesture to _calm_ her. (Definitely not because her hair is silky. Most definitely not.)

"I won't look," he finally says.

Ren sags in- _relief?_ \- and leans her head into his shoulder. Her tears form a damp spot on his shirt, something he chooses to ignore in favor of playing with her hair.

There has to be a better word for playing, but it's not coming to him. Besides, she hasn't told him to stop.

Her sobs have ceased, leaving the room a bit too quiet. Trying not to disturb her too much, he reaches for his phone and powers on his speakers. Untangling his fingers from her hair, he scrolls through his playlists for something appropriate.

Kei lies down as he wades through the lengthy list of them, finally settling on a mellow collection of some of her favorites. Ren shifts on the mattress beside him, her fingers grazing his arm. He tries not to flinch in surprise, looking over at her curiously. She blinks blearily, not making eye contact as she slips her hand under his.

The dull undertones of lyrics filter into the silence: _I'm just getting used to this/my fingers are arguing over which/one of them gets to climb down your wrist/introduce themselves to yours first_

"I called my brother," he says quietly.

The sheets rustle and the pillow shifts as Ren looks up at him. "How was it?"

How was it, indeed. "Not terrible," he admits.

"No arguing?" A ghost of a smile lights her face.

"Not this time."

"So there's going to be a next time?"

Kei sighs. "He's going to be at the house for winter break." It's been in the back of his mind. He used to head home when he knew his brother would be out. It was a strategic process. Being at home with him... it's been a while.

Ren gently pushes his shoulder with her free hand. "You should see him," she says. "I'll try to find a seat on my parents' flight."

He knows that's the other reason he's hesitating.

Ren's parents are going to visit family in Singapore, and she'd declined their offer to join them a while ago. He still wasn't sure exactly why, but figured she didn't want him spending the holiday alone.

Kei doesn't mind being alone and he usually prefers it. He's also been questioning when "alone" started to include Ren.

"You should come with me," he finds himself suggesting. _His mom wouldn't mind. The house had room. (She'd stop parading around in his clothes? Maybe?)_

Her feet, which have been shifting around, come to a stop. "That's nice of you, but-"

"If you're worried about being a burden, you're not."

Her breath catches, and her bottom lip trembles.

That was _not_ supposed to make her upset.

He sighs. "No more crying," he says quietly, sharply flicking her forehead.

Ren's protest of "hey!" is weak.

"Go to sleep," he mutters, rolling over to turn off the music when her arms trap him.

"Mmpf, Kei," she mumbles into his shirt.

"Ren, I'm turning off the music."

"No."

"... Fine." He sets a timer and lies back down.

"Kei, you're squishing my arm."

"Too bad."

She wriggles her arm free and curls up, facing away from him.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

"Relax," he says, reaching his arm over and tugging her closer. It's only after her back presses against his chest that he thinks that maybe she's too close.

Since she doesn't protest, he leaves his arm where it is now- resting loosely on her hip. "Go to sleep," he repeats.

"Only if you shut up," she mutters, and he smiles, falling asleep to strawberries and faint song lyrics.

 _You're my satellite_  
 _You're riding with me tonight_  
 _Passenger side, lighting the sky_  
 _Always the first star that I find_  
 _You're my satellite_

* * *

 **a/n:**

This chapter features song lyrics from _Many Lives_ by Andrew Belle and _Satellite_ by Guster

Other songs that probably play in the background from Tsukki's playlist (secretly titled Ren IV or something because he definitely has more than one for her): _I Don't Mind_ \- The Eames Era; _Go to Sleep_ \- The Eames Era

More plot is coming! Stay tuned, and thank you for your continued support~

To Akabane Kayo: You're in luck- the next update is here! I'm not sure about the one after this one, though. I'm glad you find Ren to be not irritating. Tsukki wouldn't be interested in her if she was- probably. And yes, they're cute, so here's a little of them being cute together. More will be coming. (P.S. Hinata is very "woah.")


	11. Chapter 11: Sparks

**a/n:** This (extra-long) chapter has much more time progression than other chapters. It's a slight speed-up into the next story arc (winter break), featuring Christmas and fluff. I hope you all enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 11: Sparks**

Ren grumbles, rolling over, a square of sunlight smacking her in her face. She rolls back over. _Did she forget to close her blinds?_ She yawns, opening her eyes.

 _This isn't her room._

Okay. This is _Kei's_ room _._

 _Kei's room,_ where she cried into his shirt and not only did he not make any sarcastic comments, he reassured her. And they _spooned._

 _"If you're worried about being a burden, you're not."_

 _When she's upset, it's easier for her to feel like she's causing problems for others. Like she's an inconvenience._

 _She's aware that she's not actually inconveniencing anyone, but the negative feelings are inconvenient to her. Confirmation..._

 _"Relax." He says it casually, like it's the easiest thing in the world, and then his arm snags her and pulls her closer._

 _She doesn't fight it. She lets herself be pulled into his arms and feels the rise and fall of his chest against her back._

 _"Go to sleep," he says calmly, letting his arm drape over her. She feels safe._

Ren pulls the sheets over her head and grumbles.

The door opens. "Get up," Kei says.

"Nah," Ren replies, not moving from beneath the sheets.

"So I should eat all the french toast by myself?"

She sits up, hastily throwing the sheets off and running for the door. "You made breakfast?" There _are_ pieces of bread in the fry pan on the stove, but he's blocking her way out of the room. Sidestepping to get around him, she finds herself trapped. "Hey!"

Kei stares pointedly at her, over to the bed, and then back to her.

 _What, he wants her to make his bed?_ Alright then. New strategy.

She moves closer, stands on her tiptoes, and presses a kiss to the underside of his jaw. "Good morning," she says sweetly, ducking under his arm and heading into the kitchen, serving up the french toast. Hazarding a glance over her shoulder, she sees him retreat into his room, shutting the door.

It hits her then- the embarrassment, the _what the hell was I thinking, doing that?_ and the _I didn't even think about it, did I?_ Ren feels her cheeks warm and wills them to stop burning before Kei reappears.

* * *

Just as she finishes eating, Kei enters the living room. He strides over to the table and hands her his phone without a word. Raising an eyebrow, she accepts it, and notices the call-ongoing symbol. She holds it up to her ear. "Hello?"

"Hi, Ren-chan," Kei's mother says in a soft voice. "How are you?"

"I'm well, thank you, Tsukishima-san. How are you?"

"I'm doing well, dear. Kei tells me you don't have any plans for the holidays?"

Ren winces. "That's not entirely true..."

Kei's mother laughs. "He had a feeling you'd say that."

 _Is that so?_ She turns to look at Kei but he avoids her gaze, quietly eating his breakfast.

"Consider this your official invitation to join us for the holidays, Ren-chan."

"Oh." Her mind is swimming with gratitude and reluctance, but she remembers how to use formalities. "I don't know what you have planned, and I don't want to impose-"

"You're not imposing, sweetheart."

Ren sighs, the gratitude outweighing her initial hesitation. "Thank you very much. I'd be happy to join you."

"Good." She can hear Kei's mom smile through the phone. "I'll see you in a couple weeks, then?"

"Two weeks," she replies.

"Alright, dear. Thanks again for looking after Kei."

"It hasn't been a problem."

Kei's mom laughs, and Ren is reminded of the few genuine laughs she's earned from Kei.

"Actually..."

"Yes, dear?"

"Lately, he's been looking after me."

At this, Kei looks up from his breakfast, surprised. She just shrugs. It's true, after all.

"Oh?"

Kei scowls like he can hear his mother's surprise.

"That's good to hear, Ren-chan. Take care. I need to speak to Kei a little more..."

"Take care, Tsukishima-san." Ren hands Kei back his phone, and he hastily disappears back into his room with it.

 _She should call her parents too,_ she thinks as she clears the dishes, setting them to soak in the sink.

But first is sorting through what the hell is gravitating her towards Kei.

* * *

Ren sits at her desk, her pen hovering over a clean piece of notebook paper. She writes Tsukki's name at the top and then keeps writing without really thinking about it, letting her thoughts flow onto the paper.

Five minutes later she's staring at a disorganized collection of things having to do with Kei. Taking a different color pen, she marks where the thoughts begin and end, separating them into a slightly more understandable string of words.

 _Responsible, trustworthy even with that perpetual smirk of his/  
feels safe, warm despite cool exterior/perceptive to the point where it's almost annoying/  
strawberry shortcake/  
ridiculously intelligent, makes me want to kick him in his smart ass/  
taller than just about everyone else I know, if I was any shorter I'd have to really peer up at him/  
blocks incredibly well/  
has long fingers like the kind pianists wish for/  
music is important to him, to both of us/  
it was how we got to know each other, how we became friends in the first place/  
sometimes after I've gone to bed he'll murmur lyrics, maybe even sing a little/  
it makes me wonder how many bands we wouldn't have discovered if not for each other/  
listens to me, understands me, respects me, and somehow manages to do that _and _tease me and have it not get on my nerves all that much- I don't know how he does it/  
he wouldn't live with me if he didn't like me, and vice versa/  
it would be lonely without him/  
what happens when we go off to college- no, don't think about that/  
think about how many times you've fallen asleep on him without him shrugging you off/  
how reassuring he's been/  
how accepting he actually is, with the team and with me/  
how he didn't pity me after I told him about my past/  
how he let me know he cared without being obtrusive or invasive/  
has heard me cry/  
helps me, even by attempting to make tempura soba/  
is kind but doesn't want to admit it/  
cares about me/  
I care about you too, I've cared for a long time-_

Reading her last thought again, she's found the clarity she wanted. She's also determined that "care about" is an understatement. The lingering thought of _now what?_ sticks in her brain and she sighs, turning to look out her window. Her eyes slide to her phone.

Her mother picks up on the first ring. "Hi, sweetie."

"Morning, mom." Pinning the phone to her ear with her shoulder, she clears off her desk, bringing out her sketching pencils.

"How are you?"

She looks up at her wall, pencil in hand, and narrows her eyes at the _die._ "Mom, it's happening again."

* * *

After convincing her mother that _yes_ , she's fine- _safe_ even, thanks to Kei- and _no_ , calling the police isn't going to help matters right now, and _yes_ , she'll let them know if anything else happens, she's finally able to bring up winter break.

"Mom, there's been a slight change in holiday plans."

"Yes?"

"I'm spending Christmas with the Tsukishimas."

There's a slight pause before her mom responds. "Are you sure?"

"Yep, it's fine. You and dad worry about Singapore, and I'll worry about going to Kei's house."

"Kei?"

Ren resists the urge to roll her eyes. "You know, the guy I share an apartment with?"

"What happened to Tsukki?"

"Mom, both names refer to the same person."

Her mom laughs knowingly. "Yes, I'm aware."

"Hey mom?"

"Yes?"

Ren hesitates. _Once she says it aloud_... "I think I like him." _There, that wasn't terrible._

"Okay."

 _Okay?_ "Any advice?"

Her mom sighs. "Ren, lily... you're selfless. If he makes you want to be a bit more selfish, be just that."

Be selfish with Kei? She can do that. "Thanks mom."

"You're welcome, lily. Let me know how it goes!"

"Mhm." A simple, sarcastic reply is a good idea right now. "Bye mom, I love you."

"We love you too, Ren. Talk to you soon."

She's left with the dial tone and a slightly more detailed sketch of the phoenix, and looks out the window again.

 _With the way things have been going, being a little more selfish can't hurt._

* * *

The next day, Kei finds oyakodon in his bento, along with strawberries. He side-eyes her suspiciously in front of Tadashi, but she shrugs, grins, and says, "it's not poisoned" before eating her sushi.

(This suggests Ren made the oyakodon just for him, but that can't possibly be right.)

He comes home to her singing something, earbuds in and running the vacuum cleaner around the apartment. Upon noticing him, she turns off the vacuum and pulls out her earbuds. She walks over to him, stands on her tiptoes and lightly hugs him, saying, "welcome home" like she usually does.

But it's _different._

* * *

Later that night, when he's listening to music and working on homework, Ren taps on the door to his room. "Is it okay if I read in here?" she asks nonchalantly.

He's surprised but doesn't mind. Shrugging, he slips his headphones back over his ears while she lounges on his bed, flipping on another lamp.

He finds himself sneaking looks at her while she's reading, catching her smiling at her book, covering her mouth with her hand at something funny, and eventually, a hearty laugh at something.

Their eyes meet. Her expression is sheepish but soft. It's a look that draws him to her. He sighs (the work isn't due for a while, and it's not getting done with her here) and turns off his laptop, ducking into his bathroom to brush his teeth. When he comes out, she's gone, back to her own room.

 _He shouldn't miss her when she's just a room away._

* * *

On Wednesday, she comes into the gym when practice is still going. Kei's working with the first years again- their blocking has improved, but not all that substantially yet. It's a trying process. Most of them have the form down, which is a relief. Read blocking is a lot harder to teach.

"Need a hand?" She asks, suddenly next to him.

"They're _trying_ to read block."

"Ah." She grimaces. "Hold on." She ducks under the net to speak to the first years. "Yo. You guys better not be complaining that read blocking is too hard."

"It is complicated," one of them admits.

"Well, yes. Predicting the course of the ball isn't easy. But if you can read the team, the setter, or the players, it's pretty easy to figure out."

"And you're an expert on reading people?" another asks.

"I've done aikido for almost six years. So, to answer your question, sort of." She glances over at him, winks (that should _not_ be allowed) and goes back to speaking to the team. "You have to be observant. Where is the setter looking? Where are his hands going? Based on who caught the receive, who is likely to spike? Based on their body language, where is the spike going? If you can't tell from them, consider where your side is vulnerable? How fast can you react?"

"That's a lot of things to think about," one says, frowning.

"Well, each time you make a play, that's what's in the way of you getting the next point." She straightens up, turning back to him. "Should I try to block them?" she asks innocently.

"You don't even play volleyball!"

"Then you should be able to spike past me just fine. Kei?"

He comes closer, volleyball in hand.

"I'll block with you," she says. Turning back to the first years, she grins. "Any play you want." To him, she says, "I'm goading them into improving." When he raises an eyebrow, she continues. "It works wonders."

Kei knows she's ridiculously good at reading people, and she's definitely pushing at a sore spot for them. "You know they're not going to like you after this," he mutters.

"I don't need them to like me." She rolls her shoulders, cracking her neck. "If they want to learn read blocking, they need to respect and apply the concept, and soon. They shouldn't just see it as something they'll get the hang of in two years."

His thoughts _exactly_.

The first years attempt their play, with Kei taking the right side of the court and Ren taking the left. She's been to enough of his games to pick up the correct blocking form. They target her, of course. (Which is good, since he's quite content watching her jump. The flash of skin he sees when her shirt rides up is just a bonus.) The ball bounces off her forearm and hits the floor on the first years' side.

After their initial shock wears off, they ask more targeted questions, occasionally shooting Ren glares as she leaves to talk to Yachi. By the time practice ends, Kei is amused (but not really all that surprised) by the looks of determination on their faces.

Ren holds up her forearm. "It'll be a gross yellow-green by tomorrow," she says, frowning. "I hope they bombard you with questions when I won't be around to answer them."

"With your luck, you'll be there and have to answer them."

"Hey!"

* * *

Next week. They're working on their homework together at the table, and he can feel Ren's eyes on him.

"What?" he eventually asks, catching her with the top of her pen pressing into her cheek.

"Stop distracting me," she complains, her pen sliding to rest in the corner of her mouth.

He raises an eyebrow. "What am I doing that's so distracting?"

"You. Are. Being. Ughhhhhh." She slumps onto her side of the table, blinking up at him. She's... _smirking?_ "Cute."

 _What did she just say?_

His chest tightens- not with irritation at being called _cute_ of all things, but almost painfully with the hope that she's being honest. Channeling nonchalance, he replies, "what?" and attempts to focus back on his textbook.

She pushes his glasses up on his nose with her finger, leaning over the table so their faces are suddenly very close. "I said," she repeats, coffee eyes flashing, "you are being cute." And then she sits back down, bending her head over her notebook, like _that didn't just happen._

Kei looks back at his textbook, attempting to keep his expression blank while pretending to be reading it. His ribcage seems to loosen its hold on his lungs, and he glances back over at her.

He ends up staring. (An accident, surely.)

Her fingertips drum the tabletop as she frowns, caught up in her schoolwork again. Drum. _Drum._ A rhythm that turns into something like a song.

He taps his fingers against the table in response. _What will she do?_

Ren shifts her left hand closer to his hand, drumming her fingers again. _Drum._ His fingers stay where they are.

 _Drum._ Her fingers, slightly closer.

* * *

The day after that, Kei offers to help with dinner. Ren asks him to measure out the rice and to chop up the onion.

"Two cups?" he asks.

"Two and a half," she answers, pulling the beef out of the fridge to snag the eggs.

"Wasabi?"

"EEH?"

He snorts. "...kidding."

"Should I ask you to leave the kitchen?" She threatens, but she doesn't look mad.

"You'd miss me." He grins as she rolls her eyes, noticing the light pink on her cheeks.

"I'd be able to cook in peace."

"You'd miss me," he tries again.

Ren side-eyes him while slicing the fish. "Only a little," she mutters, turning back to the cutting board before pointing the end of her knife in his direction. "Don't get full of yourself," she threatens. "Only a little."

* * *

Later that week- _she's back._

Ren peers around his open door (which he did not leave open on purpose, hoping she would come in). "I'm coming in," she announces quietly, shuffling over to his bed and crawling into the sheets with her e-reader this time instead of a paperback.

Kei holds up a CD. "Do you mind?"

She looks over and shakes her head. "You can play it on the speakers," she says, going back to reading.

The sound of the piano flows softly into the room, and instead of working, he finds himself listening. When he looks over at Ren, he finds that she's set her e-reader aside and closed her eyes.

"Kei?" she says softly.

"Mm?" He heads over to the bed, lying down next to her.

"What if I'd picked piano instead of aikido?"

"You'd be in the music club instead of the aikido club."

She lets out a small laugh, rolling her eyes. "That's not what I meant." Her fingers hover over invisible keys, and she pretends to play.

"You can't flip people over with a piano."

A genuine laugh this time. "I suppose," she says, getting up.

 _You don't have to leave,_ he thinks. _Let me indulge in your presence a little longer._ "Turning in for the night?" he says instead.

"Mhmm," she replies around a yawn. Giving a little wave, she heads out of his room. "Night, Kei."

"Night, Ren," he says to her vanishing back.

* * *

The next night is the same- she leaves before he can say something even remotely suggesting she could stay.

 _I never said you had to go._

He's left staring at his now vacant bed, the temptation to go after her rising like a wave. Instead of cresting and thundering ashore, he directs the current back into the depths. The action forces him to consider what he wants (Ren to stay) and consider yet again what it means (a relationship with her).

Kei throws his elbow over his eyes, grumbling. "Tch."

* * *

 _Mid-October of his second year. Despite his hesitancy towards Ren, he finds himself moving closer to her, ever so slowly. Instead of studying separately in their own rooms, they study at the table in the living room. In any case, it's quiet. She reviews for English while he works on classical literature, he works on math while she works on science. They never end up working on the same thing at the same time._

 _It's a day after a long practice when he arrives home to the scent of strawberries and cake. The apartment is cool from the open living room window, but the leftover warmth from the baking remains. A pleasant combination, one that Kei finds soothing._

 _Ren emerges from her room, her hair wrapped up in a towel. She doesn't startle when she sees him, just offers him a "welcome home" and heads over to the kitchen._

 _"Aihara."_

 _She keeps walking into the kitchen but turns her head over her shoulder. "Yeah?"_

 _"Where are the strawberries?"_

 _She stops, her nose scrunching in confusion before her face relaxes and she breaks out into laughter. "They're in the cupcakes, Tsukki," she replies, picking up a container off the counter and holding it up to him._

 _Strawberry preservatives._

 _"I saw a video of an American baking show where they used it in the cupcakes and wanted to try it?"_

 _It sounds more like a question than it should be, since the cupcakes have already been made. His gaze is drawn over to the pan cooling on the stove next to her. "Are they ready to eat?"_

 _"No." Her reply isn't rushed but is clearly adamant. "Let me frost one for you." She turns without waiting for his reply and pulls the frosting over, taking a cupcake from the pan, unwrapping it, and setting it on a plate. She places a blob of frosting in the center and spreads it out evenly with the knife before sliding the plate in his direction. After a moment, she holds out a fork._

 _He moves to take a step forward but realizes he hasn't taken off his shoes. Hastily sliding them off and discarding his school bags on the floor, he walks quietly into the kitchen and takes the fork out of her hands._

 _The cupcake is soft, the vanilla frosting smooth. Just above lukewarm, a good temperature. The burst of flavor comes from the strawberries._

 _Kei looks over to Ren. "Is it good?" she asks, her voice quiet._

 _Is it_ good? _Of course it's good. Delicious, even. There's something about it that makes him want to write a poem about it- rather, reminds him of several bits and pieces of songs, all at once._

 _He wants to ask_ why. _Why is Ren's cooking so good? Why did she bake cupcakes in the middle of October? Why did she use strawberry jam instead of raspberry or another fruit? Why did she have to frost it before she gave it to him? Why does it seem like it's a reflection of him? Why is he concerned with all these nuances?_

 _"You haven't tried it?" he asks instead, surprised that she hasn't tasted her own cooking, especially since it's a new recipe._

 _She shrugs, scratching the back of her neck. "Not yet." Then she looks up at him with those damn coffee eyes. "So how is it?"_

 _It's so good that he's going to tease her instead of being honest. "Terrible."_

 _She raises an eyebrow and pokes him in the nose. "Fine." Her voice is oddly sour. "Kiss your dreams of strawberry shortcake goodbye." She smiles brightly, takes the plate and fork from him, and- is she moving to throw the cupcake away?_

 _"Ren." He says her name (why her first name?) forcefully enough for her to stop and turn back towards him. "You know I love-"_ (why is the next word he wants to say _you_?) _"your cooking," he continues flawlessly, though his pulse is racing._

 _Her smile, now genuine, hits him like a punch to the gut. Well, quite like a punch, except softer and not from the outside. Not quite in the gut, either. It's like his heart crept to the edge of his ribcage, peered out, and then tripped in its haste to get back, the impact disrupting his insides._

 _No, he most definitely does_ not _want to kiss her. Nor is he in love with her._

 _"Good to know," she says, setting the plate on the counter. "So you_ do _want oyakodon for dinner tonight?"_

 _Okay, maybe he is, just a little bit._

 _"...Yes."_

 _Well, shit._

* * *

He's studying at the table when she emerges from her room in her sweats and one of his hoodies. (Again, it should not be allowed.) She has her e-reader tucked under her arm and is tying off her hair into a braid.

Instead of sitting across the table or lying on the cushions, she sits down next to him and rests her head on his leg, her eyes trained on the screen.

When he's finished his work (which he could this time, because she's extremely unobtrusive), she follows him into his room and takes over his bed.

It's maybe an hour later when she yawns loudly, twice in succession, throws his sheets off herself and stands.

"Turning in?"

"Yep," she replies, standing and heading for the door. "I'll be right back."

 _She's coming back?_

A few minutes later, she returns, smelling faintly of toothpaste and dressed in sweatpants and yet another old shirt of his. She curls up on the edge of his bed, turning out the light. "Night, Kei."

He takes a deep breath before replying. "Night, Ren."

* * *

 **a/n:** yes it's happening. Ren and Kei are happening. Ren is attempting to flirt/tease back at Tsukki. Sue me. (Please don't actually. He deserves it. Especially from her, because he likes her.)

Also, the moms know what's up. They're air high-fiving each other. Probably.

Please let me know what you think!

(P.S. Please let me know if you spot any grammar mistakes. Thanks!)


	12. Chapter 12: Harmony (with Omake)

**a/n:** last day of school/first hours of winter break

 **Chapter 12: Harmony**

The final bell rings on the 22nd and Ren chooses to linger, if just for a moment, to let the flood of other students out of the room first. She sighs, turning to gaze out the window when Kei flicks her forehead. "Yes?"

"Do you want to come to practice?"

Ah, yes. Ueguchi-san, the aikido club president, had declared the last day of school an off day. She'd been considering tagging along to volleyball practice, but the invitation surprises her. "Do you want me to come to practice today?"

"Do you think I would ask if I didn't?"

Ren shrugs. "Fair enough." They head out of the room. "I'll honor everyone with my presence today."

Kei snorts. "The first years won't be honored."

"They'll survive." She rolls her eyes, pushing open the door and getting hit with a brisk gust of wind. "Sheesh, it's cold."

A warm piece of fabric falls on her head. She pulls it off, revealing Kei's club jacket.

"Quit complaining," he mutters, taking longer strides until he's significantly ahead of her.

She slides his jacket on over her uniform and zips it all the way up, burying her nose in it. She wraps the sleeves around her hands like gloves and moves to catch up with him. "I was just making an observation," she says, grinning despite the frigid air.

"Then I'll take my jacket back."

She dances out if his reach, taking the lead again. "Nah. I'm keeping it for now."

* * *

Ren skips to the next song on her phone with her left hand while painting with her right. Her color testing is about done when a soft knock on her door disturbs her. "Yeah?" she calls, loud enough to be heard over her music.

"I'm coming in," Kei announces, pushing open the door and entering the room. He stares at her for a long moment before pointedly averting his gaze to her face.

She looks down at her sports bra and shorts- chosen on purpose to avoid getting paint on any of her other clothes- and feels her cheeks redden. "Like what you see?" she asks, turning back to the wall and swapping her paintbrush for a larger one. It's right as she holds it up to the wall that she gets a reply.

"If I say yes?"

Well, she hadn't been expecting _that_ response. She turns back around, willing herself not to blush. Her eyes fixate on his golden ones. "More than likely, I'd kick you out."

He blinks, not revealing anything. _Okay, moving on._

"But..." she pauses. "There's a chance I might be flattered."

"If I say no?" he replies, settling into his trademark smirk.

Ren raises an eyebrow. "I'd call you out on your lie since you were _clearly_ staring at parts of me that weren't my face. Then I'd kick you out."

Kei shrugs. "I'll take my chances," he says, and grins. "Yes." He settles himself on her bed with his laptop and headphones, rearranging her pillows.

She feels her mouth open in indignation but hastily closes it, thinking of a way to reply. "Since I'm feeling generous, I'll accept your flattery. You can stay as long as you limit your ogling."

"Who said anything about flattery?"

Hah, she's got him now. "So you don't deny the ogling." There's a pause, and she grins as his ears redden.

"You only said I had to limit it. You didn't forbid it." He smirks as her mouth falls open again. "Loopholes."

Okay, so she needs to distract him further. Her eyes slide to her bookshelf. _She'd been intending to wait, but... oh well. May as well get all the embarrassing moments over at once._

She pushes back from her desk and crouches down to the bottom shelf, sliding out a gift-wrapped CD case. _Here goes nothing._ Taking a deep breath, she turns around and approaches Kei, holding out the disc. "Merry early Christmas," she says quietly, feeling her cheeks warm before heading back to her desk.

The case shifts inside the gift wrap as Kei shakes it. "You're sure I don't have this album already?"

"Positive." Ren switches her music off her phone's speaker and over to her earbuds. The wrapping paper tears just as Ren slides her earbuds in, blocking any more incoming questions as she crawls on top of her newspaper-covered desk, focusing on painting.

* * *

 _Ren had done most of her Christmas shopping in mid-November to make sure her parents' gifts could be airmailed to Singapore in time for the holidays, also making sure she was ready to hand out gifts to her friends before they went their separate ways for winter break._

 _Kei's gifts had been thought out well in advance. From scoping out CDs he had on his Amazon wishlist and buying a couple of those to the tickets she'd bought as soon as they went on sale, she'd thought she was set._

 _She'd gotten the idea for a mix CD as a gift much later from a book she'd read. Given music's personal significance to both of them, she'd also thought the gift could act as a... confession, of sorts._

 _After many hours spent going through her music library and her pre-arranged playlists, several of which have his name in the title, she narrowed down a good track list of about forty songs. Upon realizing that in order to maintain sound quality, which Kei would want, she could only put 80 minutes of audio- approximately 20 songs- on the disc. She'd wrung her hands helplessly and cursed the data maximum while trying not to make too much noise in complaint._

 _A large sigh, one hot shower, and two-thirds of a soda later, she'd been clearheaded enough to cut her track list in half. It had been an interesting experience, to say the least. Weighing which songs, which guitar riffs, which vocalists, which lyrics conveyed her current state to him. As well as which songs he'd like._

 _Then she'd made the album art: the Jurassic Park t-rex skeleton chowing down on a strawberry. It seemed appropriate. And cheesy. Nonetheless, she figured Kei would appreciate it. She'd handwritten the track list and stuck it in the back of the case- she'd been careful and managed not to smudge it._

 _She'd wondered if she should write anything on the_ _CD, deciding between "listen carefully" or "enjoy," but ultimately_ _thought of another idea: "connection," penning_ _繋がり_ _in sharpie on the_ _disc. After that, she'd hastily gift-wrapped it so she couldn't change anything and then hid it._

 _Trying to study afterwards had proved futile._

* * *

Kei pulls off the wrapping paper to reveal a CD, as he suspected. What he was not expecting was the cover art.

"Is this…?" He doesn't manage to finish his question. (She's not listening, which is to his benefit.) He flips the disc over, revealing a handwritten track list. _Handwritten._

A mixtape. She'd made him a mixtape.

A fucking mixtape. Kami.

He isn't sure if he's been this excited to listen to a CD in his entire life. Popping open the case, he sees three characters- 繋がり- written on the disc. _Connection._

Just what is she up to?

Kei puts the CD into his laptop's disc drive, pushes it shut, and slides on his headphones. Whatever she has to say via the music, he's listening.

* * *

The guitar fades away into silence. It's the last track, but he doesn't want it to be over.

She's chosen a collection of songs that resonates with him. The lyrics, the artists, the sound, the melodies- familiar and unfamiliar- get stuck in his head.

The meanings get stuck in his heart.

The potential interpretations do, at least.

His eyes are drawn to her as she leans back on her heels, admiring her handiwork. She's painted a fiery orange-yellow bird with some loose feathers hanging in the background. She's started in on the detail work, bringing out the eyes and talons. The back of her left hand is covered in paint in varying shades of red, orange, and yellow, likely from color testing, and her hair is coming out of its bun.

Ren turns to him, a few smears of paint on her forehead. "What time is it?"

Kei's eyes flick back to his laptop screen. "Seven twenty-two."

She makes a face. "Takeout should be here soon," she thinks aloud, setting her paintbrush aside and using her cleaner right hand to push off from her desk. "If the doorbell rings, let me get it," she says before disappearing into her bathroom and nudging the door shut with her foot.

He pinches the bridge of his nose and takes a deep breath, his eyes sliding to Ren's wallet in a dish on her bookshelf. She'd mentioned takeout. He smirks, a plan formulating in his mind.

Kei moves for her bookshelf, taking her wallet and setting it out of reach on the very top shelf. Readjusting his expression to nonchalant, he leaves her room, toting his laptop under one arm and his headphones around his neck. He drops off his laptop in his room and takes out his phone, scrolling through playlist upon playlist.

 _You don't give just anyone a mix CD. And you don't usually give one unless you want one in return._

He's got five songs when the doorbell rings, startling him away from the music. Picking up his wallet, he makes his way to the front door and opens it. "Yes?"

The delivery girl gulps audibly. To her credit, she doesn't stutter. "Order 24, delivery for Ren?"

"How much?"

"Uh, is Ren here?"

Ren chooses this exact moment to appear out of her room, still in her damn sports bra and shorts. Her skin is mostly clean of paint but the smears on her forehead remain. "Hey, Aiko."

Kei raises an eyebrow. "You know her?"

Ren offers Aiko a smile. "Aikido club," she answers before turning on him. "Is there a reason I can't find my wallet?"

He shrugs. "You're too short," he says, turning to Aiko. "How much?" he repeats.

"2000 yen," she answers quickly, her eyes flicking between him and Ren.

Kei fishes two 1000 yen bills from his wallet and hands them over. Aiko gives him the bag in exchange, waves to Ren, and leaves.

"I'm too short?" Ren says sarcastically after Kei closes the door.

"Yes."

She ponders this for a moment before disappearing back into her room. Kei goes about unpacking the food.

He's gotten through fried rice and sesame chicken, a bag of short ribs, and a container of soup before Ren reappears, wallet in hand.

A full minute hadn't passed.

"You know, sometimes I really don't like you, Kei," she says, sitting down next to him.

He offers her his best innocent look as he removes the last container. Dumplings. "I had no idea."

* * *

Ren somehow wormed her way into his lap, her back resting against his chest. "I'm so fu-" she yawns- "cking tired," she finishes, giggling.

"Your bed is that way," he says, pointing with one hand while selecting another few songs for her mix CD with the other.

"Your bed is closer," she says around another yawn.

"Too bad. If you didn't have paint on you, I'd reconsider."

She cracks one eye open, frowning. "I didn't get all of it off earlier?"

He snorts and shakes his head, gesturing to where the spot of paint is on her forehead.

Ren looks up at him, the paint smears bright even in the dim light. "You're kidding me."

Kei grins. "Not this time." He quickly snaps a picture with his phone as she fumes.

"You knew!" she accuses, her coffee eyes flashing, but is she... _smiling?_

He sends a quick message to Tadashi, attaching the picture. Then he turns his phone around to show her.

Her jaw drops and her cheeks flush a deep rosy color. "Delete it!" she cries, reaching for his phone.

He holds it out of her reach. "I'll delete it if you really want me to, but Tadashi already has the evidence."

Ren buries her face in her hands. "Fine." She stands up reluctantly, heading for her room and disappears.

She's gone for five minutes or so (not that he was counting) before she pokes her head out of her room.

The paint on her forehead is gone. The skin is pink where the mark used to be, suggesting she scrubbed at it hurriedly. She's in her standard pajamas (sweatpants and yet another shirt of his- this one he recognizes, the purple one with the star logo on the front) and leans casually against the door frame. "Goodnight, smartass," she says teasingly, tiredly, stretching her arms over her head.

"Night, yourself," he replies.

She shoots him a halfhearted salute before closing the door almost all the way. The light coming from under her door goes off a moment later.

Kei heaves a quiet sigh and turns back to his phone, wading his way through his music to find the right songs for her.

* * *

It's late, past one when he finally finishes burning her CD. He thought it would take longer, but picking the songs was easier than he anticipated (perhaps because she gave him the right ideas with her own mixtape).

He slips silently out of his room and crosses the living room to hers, pushing the door open. Ren left her blinds slightly open, the moonlight streaming onto her floor. She sleeps peacefully, curled up on her side.

Kei puts the CD with the rest of her collection, seamlessly sliding it in among the rest of them, and wonders when she'll find it.

It's as he's leaving that he treads on a slightly creaky section of the floor.

Ren bolts awake, hand fumbling for the light switch but stops halfway there. "Kei?"

"… yes?" He's been caught.

She crashes back down onto her mattress and mumbles something.

"What was that?"

She sighs. "Come here, you idiot."

He's not really all that surprised by how quickly he complies, lying down beside her.

"I thought someone'd broken in again," she says quietly. "But I recognized you."

Kei can't help asking. "How?"

Ren yawns. "Your silhouette. If it wasn't familiar, I would've sprung a secret aikido move on you."

"Is that so."

She grabs onto him and pulls herself closer, close enough that he can feel the heat radiating off of her. "Mhmm. Now go to sleep."

"Don't tell me what to do," he replies, but slides off his glasses regardless. _It doesn't feel like she's too close._ There's nothing out of the ordinary.

"Heh." Ren snorts a quiet laugh. "Too late. Goodnight."

"Night."

* * *

 **a/n:** Mix CDs are the bomb. Making them can take forever though, especially if you're making them for someone else. It's especially fun to be on the receiving end.

If you are interested in the track listings, please review and let me know! I can update the chapter with them later.

Additionally, thank you all for sticking with me, for finding my story and taking the time to read it, and leaving comments on it. The support, especially for the last chapter, was very encouraging to read.

Again, please let me know what you think!

(Also, have an omake. It's a bit long cause I got carried away, but please enjoy.)

* * *

 **Omake** ft. the one and only Tadashi:  When Your Best Friend Still Refuses to Act on His (Very Important) Feelings

When he walked into the gym and saw Ren wearing Tsukki's club jacket, Tadashi could hardly suppress his grin.

"Please tell me you aren't on your way over to congratulate her on us 'getting together' or something," Tsukki says from behind him, subtly dragging him away from Ren and Yachi with an iron grip on the back of his shirt.

Tadashi snorts. " _Should_ I be congratulating her?" He raises an eyebrow.

Tsukki tch-es, releasing him. "Unless it's for her intolerance of cold temperatures, no."

"Please tell me you're not going to continue pretending your feelings for her don't exist," Tadashi says, frowning.

His best friend hesitates. Tadashi sees it in the fraction of Tsukki's slower movement and the slight change in his expression that can be construed as a wince.

"Tell me the reason you're hesitating has nothing to do with what happened with your brother."

Tsukki reels back like he's been slapped and averts his gaze, his mouth settling into a thin line.

Tadashi sighs. "Alright. You don't have to tell me. Just..." His brows furrow in concentration as he searches for the right words. "Don't get all caught up in 'she deserves better' or 'I don't deserve her' and thoughts like that. Don't. Be honest with yourself."

The first and second years start filing into the gym and their conversation ends there, but the thoughts linger.

 _Be honest with yourself._ It's something Tadashi learned a long time ago, and it helped him come to terms with his weaknesses. It fueled his determination to get stronger.

 _The perfection of the jump serve. Improving his blocks and receives, his confidence growing all the while. Filling the captain's shoes._

 _Go after what you want, even if you're afraid. So you don't have any regrets later._

If Tsukki could do the same thing- well, not quite the same thing, but still- maybe he could be happier.

(later that evening)

Tadashi's phone blips with a text notification. _Tsukki sent an image._

He hastily unlocks his phone, opening the message. It's a picture of Ren with paint on her forehead. The text reads: _She forgot the paint was there for almost four hours._

Tadashi rolls his eyes and crafts a reply. _So? What happened to being honest?_ He adds a winking face to the end and sends it.

From the angle the picture was taking, it's clear Ren was sitting in Tsukki's lap.

His phone pings with a reply. _She should not be allowed to do that._

Knowing that phrase means Ren is being cute, Tadashi resists the urge to facepalm and sends a final message.

 _Ask her out already! Good luck, Tsukki!_


	13. Chapter 13: Echo

**A/N:** Hey guys, it's been... a long time. Life is a busy thing, and since last updating this story I spent a year abroad as well as got involved in some other cool new stuff- I'm now on AO3, Twitter, and Tumblr! Links are on my profile, and I'll stick them at the end of this as well. I recently got a guest review that ended up reminding me about this piece, and how it was my path to falling in love with _writing_ fanfic. I went back and checked my files... and found this chapter in the works. Somehow acquiring a burst of inspiration, I put some finishing touches on it and decided to post it.

Unfortunately, I can't promise a lot of new content for this story soon (with school and other projects consuming almost all my time), but please feel free to check out my other works and yell with/at me over on my new Twitter. Thanks to all of you that left reviews, and especially to you for sticking around. I'm so glad you're enjoying the story, eternally grateful that you're still here, and am excited to let you all know I actually have a **completed Tsukki oneshot** that is hopefully appearing in a Zine soon!

As always, let me know (in reviews here or on my social media) what you think. Take care, you guys.

Without further ado, here is the chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Echo**

Ren blinks her eyes open blearily, snagging her phone off her night table to check the time. The dim screen reads 9:46. She yawns, shifting to sit up and her gaze lands on Kei, still asleep beside her.

"Wake up," she says softly, quietly enough that he doesn't stir at all. Eyeing his sleep-mussed hair and peaceful expression, she breaks into a smile and carefully edges out of the bed. She draws the covers up over him, pulls her hair into a very sloppy bun, and pauses to look at her painting.

The fact that the _die_ is no longer alone is somehow comforting. She turns to her bookshelf, picking up her e-reader before her gaze catches on a CD that sits slightly askew in her collection. It's a little more forward on the shelf than the others, and what's more, it's facing backwards.

Ren sets her e-reader aside and slides the case forward, glances over her shoulder to make sure Kei's still sleeping, and edges the CD off the shelf. Snagging her laptop and earbuds, she tiptoes out of the room and closes the door behind her. Only after that does she manage to look at the cover.

 _For Ren_ is written in calligraphic script in the center of the cream-colored paper.

 _Deep breaths,_ she reminds herself as her pulse thrums in anticipation. She opens the case, finding the track list on the inside. It's handwritten in small print without any signs of ink smudges. And at the bottom center of the paper, there's a simple line drawing of a water lily.

Booting up her laptop, she sets the CD to rip while she starts a pot of coffee. She transfers the contents of the disc to her phone and eats a small bowl of cereal while she waits.

After the songs are synced and her cereal is eaten, she plugs in her earbuds, grabs for her coffee, and shuts out the rest of the world.

* * *

The melody fades into nothing and she's left with silence. The track ended. She knows there isn't another after it and squashes the disappointment in favor of the warmth simmering under her skin. The music has left her at peace, her mind full of bits and pieces of song lyrics.

 _And if I may just take your breath away  
breathe out so I can breathe you in and  
I want to bathe you in the light of day  
and if you stay  
I would even wait all night  
but if stars shouldn't shine  
crack the shutters open wide_

Her heart thuds loudly in her chest. Not painfully, not erratically… just loudly. And maybe a slight bit hurriedly.

 _If the songs were supposed to be a message, she got it._

She goes for another cup of coffee and pulls down another mug, preparing coffee for Kei and heading back into her room.

"Wake up," she calls, louder this time. Kei grumbles beneath her blankets. "I brought coffee?"

He mumbles something, pushing himself into a sitting position.

"Yeah, yeah, you're welcome. It wouldn't hurt to say a genuine 'thank you' every now and then, would it?"

Kei accepts the mug of coffee and takes a sip, relaxing. Running a hand through his hair, he mutters a quiet but audible "thanks."

Ren brings her mug of coffee to her lips to hide her smile. She refrains from asking how late he was up making the mix CD. Instead, she asks, "do you want bacon and eggs for brunch?"

"Brunch?" He asks, sliding on his glasses.

"It's kind of almost noon already."

His reply is quick, definitive. "Yes, thanks," he answers, smirking.

She rolls her eyes, heading back into the kitchen. "When did you want to head home?" she calls over her shoulder.

Kei strides into the kitchen and leans against the fridge. "In time for dinner," he says, gulping down more of his coffee.

"When is dinner?" Ren turns on the stovetop, pulling out a large frypan to cook the food in.

In her peripheral, she can see him shrug. "I have no idea."

"Not helpful."

"You're welcome."

* * *

Ren zips her duffel bag shut and hefts it over her shoulder. Her laptop and a few schoolbooks have been squished in, along with an assortment of winter clothes and a few Christmas gifts. She turns out her overhead room light and heads into the living room, shutting the door behind her.

Upon seeing Kei waiting by the door, she hastily shrugs her duffel off and slips on her shoes, tugging on her winter coat and hefting it back up.

They head out of the apartment without a word. Even after they've been walking for several minutes the silence remains, a tense cloud over the darkening sky. Ren shudders, her fingers closing around the strap of her duffel. Her eyes flick over to Kei and stay there, observing him. His mouth is drawn into a thin line, his shoulders stiff. She sighs, reaches over and takes his hand.

Her action prompts him to look at her, raising one eyebrow slightly.

"I'm here," she says, her breath a cloud in the rapidly cooling evening air.

Kei snorts quietly. "I'm aware," he says matter-of-factly, and she's rewarded with his fingers loosening ever so subtly around hers, an obvious evaporation of tension.

Ren smiles, turning to take in their surroundings. "How far is the house from here?"

"Not very far," he answers, leading her up to a house just a couple of houses in from the end of the street. He uses his free hand to ring the doorbell, keeping hold of her hand even as the door opens.

A man answers the door. He's shorter than Kei, his hair more brown than blond. His expression is a relieved smile. "Welcome home, Kei," he says, ushering them inside. "You must be Ren," he continues, offering her a warm smile that turns into a grin as he eyes her hand in Kei's.

"So you've heard of me," she says, pretending to be surprised, and turns to Kei. "What all did you tell him?"

"Not very much, actually," Kei's brother answers. "Tsukishima Akiteru. Nice to meet you." He offers a small, polite bow.

"Aihara Ren. Thanks for having me." She returns the gesture with a small bow. "Oh! I also made dessert." She holds up the gift bag.

"You cook?" Akiteru asks.

Ren nods, taking the opportunity to slip off her shoes and step up onto the floor. "Yes."

"What class are you in?"

She frowns, raising an eyebrow. "3-A, same as Kei. Top rank. He didn't tell you?"

Akiteru shakes his head, still grinning. "No. Clubs?"

Ren narrows her eyes, recognizing this as a brotherly interrogation and isn't sure how to stop it. "Aikido." She waits until he opens his mouth again before cutting him off. "Since you're going to ask about college next, I've been accepted into Waseda's liberal studies program. I'm going for psychology."

Akiteru fakes a swoon. "I love her already," he says, likely attempting to ease the tension.

Instead, his words have the opposite effect.

Kei's hand tightens around Ren's, a fierce blush creeping over his neck. His neutral expression is approaching angry as he takes a step closer to his brother.

"That's nice," Ren declares coolly, staring Akiteru down while appearing totally relaxed. "I didn't know I needed your approval to date your brother." She doesn't look at Kei, instead keeping her challenging gaze focused on Akiteru while fighting a blush. Somehow managing to succeed, she continues. "And since I _don't_ need your approval, or really anything else from you right now, excuse us, please."

* * *

Kei's hand is disgustingly clammy within Ren's as she leads them up the stairs. He flexes his fingers and she releases his hand. He wipes his palm on his pants as she asks, "So, where are we staying?" as they reach the top of the stairs.

He leads her down the hall, stopping in front of a door that he hasn't seen in months that feel like years. The knob turns easily under his palm and he pushes the door open.

The room hasn't changed. His bookshelf is still there, an empty CD case holder on top. There's no dust, so his mom must have cleaned.

Ren follows him inside, flipping on the overhead light and setting her duffel on the end of his bed, lying down on the mattress and sighing contentedly. "Man, that was tense," she remarks, staring at the ceiling. "Also, this bed is really comfy."

Carefully easing the door shut behind her, he's _finally_ able to ask. "We're dating?"

She sits up on her elbows, looking at him with one eyebrow raised. "Isn't that normal for people that like each other?"

Kei can't do anything but stare at her. She's ridiculous. Ridiculously simple-minded. And troublesome. And he's… kami help him, he's in love with her.

Ren frowns. "Okay, alright. Dating is totally normal for people that like each other, especially if one of them is a dinosaur-loving strawberry fanatic and the other is an artist and cooking enthusiast."

"Did you just call me a fanatic?"

She rolls those damn coffee eyes of hers and grins. "Of course that's what you focus on." Rolling off his bed, she comes to stand in front of him, pulling him down by the collar of his jacket and kisses him.

He can't move. It feels like something is collapsing in him somewhere; something that was holding him in place crumbles away. "Ren." He manages to say her name after they break apart, despite it feeling like his tongue is stumbling over itself. "Ren, I-"

"Yes?" She interrupts, eyes wide in faux innocence. "You what?"

A flush creeps over his neck, threatening to burn him. "You-"

"You should know," she continues as if he hadn't just started speaking, "I don't go around kissing people for no reason."

His hands find her waist and hold her tightly, like she could slip through his fingers and turn to dust in the next moment. "I take it you have a reason, then?"

She tilts her head up in fake consideration. "I have a few," she says, grinning, her smile bright and soft at the same time.

It's a look that has him smiling, cheeks almost hurting from stretching so wide. He cups her face in his hands and kisses her, softly and deeply, feeling his neck flush but ignores it in favor of the pure happiness he's floating in right now.

Ren moves to break away and he lets her, eyes blinking open to see that a fierce blush has crept over her as well. She backs away, hands stretched out behind her and plops onto the bed. "Swept off my feet, literally," she mutters, pushing her hair out of her eyes. Blinking a few times, she shakes her head, getting to her feet. "We should… go," she says, voice still rather distant. "Downstairs, I mean. Dinner. I should probably… set the table or something, make up to your brother."

Kei raises an eyebrow. "What for?"

"As a sort-of apology for if I offended him. One that deliberately indicates I'm not sorry for what I said."

"Is that really an apology, then?"

She frowns, considering. "Good point. I'll just have to hope he likes the dessert, then."

Kei smiles, reaching for the door.

* * *

Dinner is a lively affair. Ren and his mom seem to get along, and Aki doesn't seem too upset by what transpired earlier. He even pulled the both of them aside after dessert to apologize himself, which was… not all that unexpected, Kei realizes.

He helps Ren wash the dishes, which ends up meaning he's cleaning and she's drying, putting clean plates and cups away. Seems a bit backwards but he doesn't mind, quietly directing her on which cabinet is for what.

She holds up the dessert plate he just handed her, tilting her head to the side. One eyebrow rises higher than the other in a clear display of confusion.

His mouth quirks into a smile, and he reaches up, tapping the cabinet in front of her. She opens it, finding the matching plates, and sets this one on top. Kei hands her the last plate, holding it within arms reach before lifting it up, up, up until it's quite out of Ren's reach.

She doesn't scowl, merely squinting at the plate. She makes a jump for it and Kei hastily steps back, his foot catching on the carpet as she snags the dish from his fingertips. He feels himself falling, falling, and then he _isn't._

Ren's arm braces him across the middle of his back, hand curled around his bicep. Her other hand grips the plate high above her head. "Do you mind?" she asks, tone incredulous.

Kei lets his weight sag further towards the ground. "I think gravity minds," he says, grinning as she shifts her grip to brace him better. She sighs, blindly shelving the plate (in the wrong place, Kei notes, but neither of them care).

Just as she closes the cabinet Aki walks through the kitchen, looking up from his phone to stare at them. He lets out a laugh, shakes his head, and exits into the living room.

Ren heaves him back upright, steadying him with her free hand before letting him go. She mutters something under her breath.

Curious, Kei asks her to repeat it, surprised when she blushes.

"No floating away," she says quietly. "Gravity has to share you, understand?"

He smiles, pressing a kiss to her forehead. Taking her hand, he leads her (past Akiteru and) out to the back patio. They sit on the edge together, holding hands. Under the light of the moon, Ren starts to sing.

 _"_ _There's a daylight going under  
There's a new spark to discover  
And you know we're not getting any younger  
So remember, this is our time_

 _I wanna drive an open road_  
 _Can we go out tonight_  
 _Anything goes_  
 _Let's make a monument for our—"_

She stops suddenly, shuddering against the cold, and quietly says, "thanks."

Kei doesn't know what she's referring to. A single action, the past few hours? And he can't help wondering why she cut herself off. _Monument for our... what? Future?_

There's a heavy word, but it's made lighter by the fact that she'll be part of it.

"Thanks," he echoes, holding her close under the stars.

* * *

A/N: The song at the end of the chapter is Mutemath's _Monument,_ specifically the Kasbo remix that can be found on SoundCloud. PS I'm weak for soft Tsukks.

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